Is that after so long your brain realizes it can’t run away from it. So instead of going into flight mode where you’re in pain all the time you go into fight mode and you’re ANGRY all the time.
Furiously angry is all I am now, 24/7. And I hide it, I don’t let it out but I feel it. Today my friends and I wanted to watch a movie, but all the TV spaces were taken by people studying. I was so, so mad at those people. They could study ANYWHERE and I had to embarrass myself asking if they minded us watching the movie only to be shot down because those lazy, inconsiderate idiots wouldn’t go study someplace that wasn’t a common area and not even a study lounge!!
I immediately started picturing the things I’d have done to them if we were in a dream. This anger terrifies me, guys. It isn’t me. I have never been someone who was quick to anger. Ever. I’m even well-known for my great patience and how difficult it is to make me mad. Anxiety is changing me into a monster now. I hope my future therapist can help me with that as well…
I’d of done the same. A normie would just go into attack mode and tell them to leave and use the study areas as this area is designated for watching TV. I guess you can report it to someone for future consideration as not everybody’s that assertive.
When I was in my twenties, if someone asked, I would have said, “I don’t do anger.” No, when situations arose, I would bypass anger and go directly to fear.
Now,many years after, I am experiencing a lot of anger. From my perspective, anger feels a lot better than fear.
Sometimes, I do pray for those from whom I flnd this anger. Actually praying for those people who make me angry or afraid does some amount of healing.
I have been a slow burner most my life, where I never showed anger ever, just simmered beneath the surface…until I blew a fuse and exploaded.
For the last 10 years, every single outlet to deal with my anger has been slowly pulled out from under me until I had no way left to deal with it.
Now, shame on me, Ive become an instant monster who yells pretty loud ( the neighbors hate me) smashes my personal belongings ( who needed that anyway?) and kicks and screams like a 2year old needing a nap.
God help those within sight of me if they don’t have any chocolate to difuse the monster.
Anger is a byproduct of lots of different symptoms.
Irritability is common with me - I will get irritable when depressed, and having mixed episodes, which is frequently.
I dont get so angry when Anxious, but maybe I do sometimes, especially when it is combined with depression.
Man life can be so complex - Good thing I take meds to soften the blow a bit
When ever I feel my anger starting to control my actions, I will incorporate the thought that I created the “evil” that is driving me mad and that seems to defuse that anger that sometimes rushes to my head. I like to think “Well I wanted it, so I got it,” because this is what I truly believe and this works great for me, or else I would be pointing my finger at everyone and everything else but Me. There is a quote by the Dali Lama that states this as well. If we believe we are One with Almighty God then we must take the responsibility for anything evil in this world . If we didn’t first take responsibility of “it” how would we ever be able to allow God working through us to resolve the issue. It is thee major issue isn’t it? It is ignorance of the truth itself taking the place of the truth because we are allowed to believe anything we will in place of the Truth. Believe what you will.
I had to take anger management classes… I would let things bubble and bubble and fester and fester until I snapped and ended up destroying property and almost hurting someone.
So I had to learn how to let some of it go…
address situations when they are small…
sometimes… write out what part of the situation upset me and address that.
my anxiety usually leads to flight mode… but I do get into fight mode with my anger sometimes… depending on the situation.