I have just spent time with my S.O. friends, who have been family to him / us for decades. I could only be social for a few hours and retreat to my room.
I felt like a bad person / friend.
They stayed with us for a week. Today I woke up back to my peaceful life.
Hey thanks for posting that article @Kxev . I donāt agree with a couple points made in it though. It seems like the article was kind of projecting the authors feelings onto all schizophrenics.
#1 I donāt avoid people because I am afraid of their ājudgment or condemnationā. I avoid most people because I generally am not interested in having face to face conversations with them anymore.
#2 Iām not generally afraid to tell people Iām schizophrenic. I may not tell everyone, but I have told quite a few.
Maybe I am just an exception to these rules, but I just wanted to note that I did not agree with some of the authors points referring to āweā, assuming that means all schizophrenics.
I been socially isolated for many years, Itās just getting worst.
I just donāt understand where it comes from and this article touched on some points for me.
Like how I avoid all text messages, from people who care about me. Yet I canāt respond. And now I am completely isolated except when my SO once in a while has friends over.
Is isolation different for everyone - but is it inevitable that having schizophrenia leads to complete isolation.
Or do some have some social life?
I feel the same on your #1 point. I am not interested in conversation with IRL people at all.
I think of socializing as a muscle. Also solitude is a muscle too.
I donāt mind brief social exchanges with some people in irl. But I am not into long social discussions irl. I much prefer the format of this forum, where i can think about my responses, type a few lines and move on if I choose to or respond if I choose. I donāt like being trapped in real life conversations. I get a weekly call from a friend, for example, and I generally cant wait until itās over.
@Bowens Wow - but you do converse. I get in these situations less, and feel exactly the same way. I canāt be wait for it to be over.
@LevelJ1 I can see that as a possibility - but solitude muscle feels so safe.
Yeah im no stranger to isolating myself. I try to force myself to maintain my few friends and family.
I could just as easily not respond to any texts for a month and it wouldnt bother me. But then family worries about me whenever i go quiet for more than a week
The only way my sister or anyone knows how I am doing is checking in with my S.O. I donāt text at all. And I am only in social situations because of my normal S.O.
Maybe one day I can be able to let people who care into my world. But I donāt want to talk about how my symptoms are ruling my life.
I donāt like being around crowds, that makes my symptoms worse. I tolerate individuals fairly well, but I donāt care to waste my F2F time on people who arenāt interesting to me.
I donāt have any issues with crowds anymore, but maybe if I were to find someone interesting enough, as you said, I would tolerate f2f better. Most people, outside of my parents, I just donāt like long f2f social interactions anymore. Generally feel like Iām usually forced to perform and keep the conversation going, when I truly have no interest in it.
Edit: Iāll be completely honest, I like my friend that calls me. She is nice and all, but she just bores the ever loving Sh__ out of me. LOL.
@Bowens
Yes. Real life social is a performance. Stress. Work. Boring. Uninteresting. Listening to normal problems. Not being able to share my struggles cause they would never understand it or they do then expect me to still be normal.
Irl I collect people who talk a lot because I donāt. I know I talk a lot on the forum and I donāt know why, but irl I just donāt. I spend almost all of my time alone now and itās nice.
I fit in at AA meetings because it doesnāt matter who you are or where you come from, youāre welcome if you have a probem with alcohol. I donāt mind sharing there.
I really enjoy going on group photography outings. We can spread out enough that I donāt get wound up symptom-wise and I can relate to everyone present. We all have a shared love of photography. My biggest problem is that I am so advanced I tend to intimidate amateur photographers. We all start out not knowing what weāre doing with a camera, so thatās okay. People took the time to help me learn and I feel an obligation to pass the craft to the next person. I try to be careful not to give devastating critiques of other peopleās images.
FInally, I love hanging out with others to cook good food and enjoy the same. Gourmets and gastronomes are welcome in my home (now with precautions - stupid virus).
i havent yet read the article but i have ended up isolated in life because of sz. i just read it and i relate and agree.
shrug
I havenāt talked to the man Iām seeing in about a week now. Before we talked daily, and while the frequency bothered me then, I felt obligated to put up the act of being normal. Now itās just too much. The constant hiding of my symptoms, and self. Not being able to talk about what Iām experiencing. The voices commenting on everything. Being hyper focused on if I give myself, or them, away. Itās too much stress.
He wants so badly for me to be normal, and if Iām not, thereās a problem. If he doesnāt make me smile, thereās a problem. If I donāt want sex, thereās a problem. He doesnāt understand it at all. I donāt even care if he does now. I just want to be alone, where I donāt have to hide anything, or be criticized by normal people who donāt know wtf theyāre talking about. I donāt have the energy to keep it up anymore.
Isolation is easier.
Similar thing I wrote on fb year agoā¦
Well composedā¦
And got 350 likes, no deeper thoughts on matter, except one therapist, and thatās what happened
The reason I wrote is fight against stigma, I wrote it under my own name, not pseudonimā¦
My apathy prevents me from socializing. Lack of emotions, flat affect, etc
Iāve always been more of a loner than not.Far more into solitary activities rather than group ones. Even before signs of mental illness I struggled when it came to social interaction. Iāve always found initiating conversations and being proactive in forming friendships very difficult . Those comments may sound at odds with my being somewhat of a loner, but there are times when I do enjoy company. The trouble is it tends not to like me.
Iāve now given up on trying to form F2F friendships. Itās been a case of failure after failure, with the exception of my late wife and my (s) daughter and family. Those who take the time to know me find Iām an OK person. The trouble is most peopleā impressions of you are formed in a few minutes rather than hours, days, and weeks.I tend to not give an instantly favourable impression .
Thereās that song from the āKing and Iā. Itās a pleasant song, but not the way most people behave.
In the last couple of years due to lower backache, then Covid and then the falls Iāve only been out for things likr Covid vaccinations. , and thatās been a case of getting in my (s) daughterās car rather than walking there.
Things are relatively better online but thatās like saying Iāve moved from 40th to 20th place in a 40 person race. Iām respected more than Iām liked.
Sort of a strange article about how szs are alone but then the article proceeds from being about her experiences as I, to the experiences of her group of paranoid friends which becomes we, and then we becomes about szs in general.
I liked reading it though thanks for the link.
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