I’ve had a lot of guys come up to me in the past and try to talk to me. I’m not really that pretty I just look very unique compared to everyone else I live around. It always takes me by surprise and often times it scares me. I think it’s starting problems because I think it’s making me paranoid. I’ve had guys walk up to me on the street and ask if I had a boyfriend. I get off balance when a guy obviously isn’t interested.
Maybe the best way is to give an example of the part that I think I’m over reacting on. I was riding my bike and there were two guys talking on the side of the road. They seemed to live around there so that wasn’t what was suspicious. I just got so scared they were looking at me as in they found me attractive.For no reason what so ever. I just got very scared and peddled quickly by. My friend said they were probably looking at my butt. I told her about my fears and she seems to be confirming that guys are like that. I feel like they all think I’m just a piece of meat.
For a while I thought I had body image issues because I got scared whenever anyone I didn’t know very well told me I looked good. Even other girls sometimes. There was a female teacher who thought I looked so pretty (not in that way) and how she wished she was that skinny and said nice things about my appearance all the time. She was a very nice professor and I know she meant no harm but it still scared me. But while reading the book my therapist lent me “Mom, I feel fat” I don’t think that’s it. I’ve never felt bad about my body. I used to be ugly but I’ve grown out of that awkward phase now.
My friend tells me she thinks they are looking at me and probably find me attractive. The part that scares me the most is when I am on a project with someone I tend to get paranoid they are only agreeing with me because they think I’m pretty. This makes me doubt my idea almost obsessively. Ever since I filled out I’ve started getting attention but I was always told I’m smart and I think that’s the part that’s crushing me. I’m afraid I’m wrong but no one will tell me I’m wrong so I continue being wrong. I can’t learn and grow unless my ideas and opinions are challenged or accepted based on their merit. I feel the most empowered when someone challenges me and tells me I’m wrong. It doesn’t feel right unless I have to fight for it.
I also had a very close guy friend who turned out to have a huge crush on me (one of my friends said he loved me but that’s probably and exaggeration). After that friend told me that I never saw my good friend again and he switched schools which left me very hurt and confused.
So am I paranoid, self absorbed, or is everyone actually looking at me?
And if they are looking at me is it normal to find that scary?
Maybe. I’m hoping it’s just because I was in college. It just scares me so much that people are coming up to me thinking “that looks like a good piece of meat”. The thought just feels horrible.
For second here lets entertain this mind reading things is real. Just long enough for me to say these people are ■■■■■■■ assholes. That said there doesn’t seem any rhyme or reason to it.
Perhaps it’s simply that we feel like outliers so we naturally stand out.
If you are halfway decent looking or have a halfway decent body you are going to get looks. Yes, if you have a half-way decent butt lots of guys will check it out. Our eyes just naturally go there. It’s fun to check out a girl. It gives us a little lift or a little pleasure. That’s why we do it. I look at other places like eyes or clothes or hair. It’s also a matter of degree. You will definitely get the guys who look at you like a piece of meat or stare too long. But most guys admire for a few seconds and move on.
Guys are sexual creatures and women are sexual creatures. It’s built into our DNA and it is one of our basic traits. The girl at work wears heavy woolen suits that cover most of her body and I still check her out.
I don’t enough about women to know if it is normal to be scared. I don’t know if it scares other women or not. Actually I do know that some women are scared of men. But what causes your fear? Fear of sex? Fear of a relationship? Physical fear? Getting to close?
Excellent logical post by 77nick77. It may not be all in your head that you get looks. Speaking for myself, when I was younger i’d get more positive looks. At first I thought I was imagining things, then my cousin said, “You’re a chick magnet.” (That was long ago) SoitGoes said it with more confidence and eloquently haha. I’ve never felt good looking in my mind. Now after the onset of the illness, I wonder sometimes if because of it, I react differently to everyday looks (while you find it scary, I find them judgemental and at times worrisome). With that said, concerning your own experience, it may relate to you.
Yeah that whole built in dna thing that nick said is definitely true but I think it would be foolish to not considere that today’s world belongs to women and …come on …what is always on their mind?
I happen to have a back problem AND I have flat feet so I have a unique walk that young girls use to post on YouTube.
That was flattering but dealing with those ideosynchosies everyday sucks,ive lost jobs because of my walk.
because its a females sexual liberated world EVERYTHING that todays females see HAS to do with sex.
If I don’t take my sloppy turn with women they say “he thinks he’s sexier than we are”.
And in today’s f***ed up sexual deviant world a statement like that is normal.
you’re probably just attractive, or there is something about you that draws attention. When I go out with my twin sister, who thankfully doesn’t have schizophrenia, people stare. I know also when I was thinner, mostly acne free, and had long hair a couple of years ago, there were a lot more guys noticing me than now, or when I was in high school, when I was/am fat, and had acne, and dressed like a slob.