I went on three dates this weekend (all from online dating apps) and largely felt … nothing. I’m 25 and feel like I “should” be in a relationship or at least interested in pursuing one at this point. I’m also somewhat afraid of being alone later in life, once my parents are gone. I’ve never had sex and don’t have too much interest in doing so. I also often just feel exhausted after conversations that aren’t work related. I only have three close-ish friends. The main things I know I’m interested in are work, staying healthy, and achieving financial independence. I also like volunteering (as a crisis counselor). Does anyone else feel this way, or have any thoughts on this? Is this normal for SZA?
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hey @att159 i am also 25. i don’t search for a relationship at the present.
you seem to want to be in one and also feel bad because you never been in one before
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It’s more like I want to have normal desires, but am not sure that I do. I’m just confused about what I want out of life in general, I guess. Romantic love sounds nice but I’m also not sure that I’d want to spend that much time with another person? IDK.
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i see . i been there. a long time ago
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what helped me was medication and relaxing my mind, being more calm and relaxed
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I lost interest in relationships and even friendships after my diagnosis too. Schizophrenia and SZA affect everyone a bit differently.
But don’t get into a relationship because you just feel that you “should”. That’s a one way ticket to unhappiness.
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Everything became dull and boring since sz.
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I would say that’s normal even for someone without sz/sza. Some people are just more introverted, have lower social motivation, or are simply content with having only a few friends and enjoy being in their own company. It would be more of a problem if you actively wanted these relationships but for whatever reason couldn’t pursue them or were consistently unsuccessful at it to the point where it was distressing to you.
To me it sounds like you’re more caught up in societal expectations than your own intrinsic desires. You have goals and seem like you know what you want to spend your time on right now, and that’s totally okay if it’s not random people you met online.
I definitely feel the same way at times (I’m 21 so relatively close to your age), and when I do I just remind myself not to compare myself to an unrealistic and frankly misleading social standard and just do what I feel is best for me and makes me happy.
Hope that helps.
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I think you just didn’t find the right person for you. It’s ok to not be attracted to dates. When it’s right for you, you’ll know. Plus, some people need to get to know someone before they become attracted to them, which is exactly how I am. It’s ok. Don’t worry.
Also, if you make platonic friends with people, you won’t be alone even if you don’t have a significant other. You’ll have friends. So I’d work on making friends for now
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Dating isn’t obligatory. Don’t feel like you need to if you don’t want to. It’s okay to be single, if you want to be. Don’t put pressure on yourself.
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My advice is to keep playing the field until you find someone who you are compatible with, but judging from some of the reports about relationships I’m getting, you need to be very careful about that.
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Thanks everyone! This forum is great.
@LilyoftheValley Thanks! I think I’m like that too - demisexual or something. And yeah, my main focus is making friends at the moment.
@stratocaster Thanks! I think you’re right, I’m definitely struggling with determining which of the various societal expectations feel authentic to me.
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