I am not sure if I am getting worse…I have been isolated a lot. my manic impulses have gotten the best of me…stressed about a trip next week and am paranoid about im going to die if i go there…my refill for abilify is early but i dont want to take it–it makes me feel stuck and depressed.
I had this sort of horrible thought thats starting to build…and I want someone to help me before it becomes a complex…
what if people become delusional in order to break the patterns of a false collective conscious norm? what if what is delusional is someone unwilling to reveal that when they ramble or go into altered states they are experiencing something else, like …my mom must be enjoying her delusional rants she calls them her conversations with the universe, and she babbles on incoherently about stuff…I feel like she should have the right to do this its not hurting anyone…
but i miss my real mom. Im sad…too drained to feel sad right now…its just that when I remember or how I remember my rambling states was like I could induce the sun to shine brighter and even though I was suffering and rambling it felt peaceful like I was in a serene place that was free of human norms and also, some of its like chaotic/chaos etc. so deep Im too deep for this illness it catches me.
I wish you the best. It sounds hard. I haven’t heard that abilify can cause depression - on the contrary it’s often used with antidepressants to treat depression
I just have such a sense of purpose that I wont let the evil win…even while my mom hallucinates conversations with leanord cohen and thinks he’s the President of whatever world…
guess they just wiped me like her for the same reason so should I keep fighting the good fight or surrender to the evil scientists
I did take an adderall. But yeah Im on the injection and they filled my refill early which doesnt matter it makes no freaking difference. The truth is bleeding from the walls you cant erase it like u tried me.