I have an appointment in ten days. I stopped taking Abilify about 2 weeks ago. I can’t afford to get a refill atm. My dad is coming home in a couple days. He’s been gone for three weeks on an around the world business trip. I feel a bit sharper and more alert. I also feel a little depressed and tired. I came home the other night and thought my mom was in danger because her purse and credit card was left on the counter but her car was gone. I also saw the ladder against the wall from when they were working on the house. So I called 911 and reported that I thought someone had broken in. She came home 10 minutes later before the police arrived and she handled it well when the officer asked if everything was ok. The officer didn’t get upset and I apologized. I guess that would be a sign of paranoia. I haven’t been paranoid about anything else though. I haven’t heard voices or seen things. But when I first got off them I kept seeing animals in the road and others didn’t see them, but then when I got someone else to drive she saw the same streak fly across the road that I felt was a hallucination.
How can shared hallucinations be possible? What does that implicate? How about a manifested one? I’m not trying to make excuses. I was watching the movie “Strange Voices” which kinda felt like an advertisement for the drug companies. When my ex and I had a fight, I started yelling and then it started pouring down rain as soon as I got upset. Then both my ex and I had the same cold/cough without being around each other for the past few days. His mom’s not letting me back at his house because I called the police on them for not giving me by stuff back. The police never showed up at least, and I got some of my stuff back like my moped but he didn’t give me back my key to it yet.
I haven’t been having nightmares either. That’s the main issue. I’ll have really scary nightmares and sleep paralysis when I am not on the medication more frequently than when I am on it. Sometimes I’ll get a nightmare the same night I miss a dose. The more often I’ve taken it the harder it’s been to withdraw from the medication.
I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been presented with alternatives or recovery models which would help me. I haven’t been taught to recover. I’ve been taught to see myself as sick and damaged. I went the other day to a few temp agencies to start looking for jobs with a couple people.
I’m not getting back on Abilify if I can help it.