I'm very unsure about everything

I believe my family is mostly made up of psychopaths.
Im not sure if I can speak English correctly.
I’m off meds kind of? I think family wrote articles about me online. I think I don’t have as. Sometimes I think I can read minds. Sometimes I think the universe is two forces, me, the weaker force, and it, the demon playing tricks on me, much more powerful. Comparison would be I’m a monkey, and it is a god.

I’m non responsive and don’t tolerate meds well.

Why do some meds make me worse? If I’ve been out of reality so long, how will I know when I’m in reality?

I’m very sorry to hear that you’re struggling like this. Have you ever tried Abilify? It seems much milder in side effects than others. I guess it’s different for everyone

Have you been sleeping well?

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hey sorry for my super late reply, i sort of have been spiraling. 3 years ago i was on abilify injection 400mg, and it took 3 months to work. But when it kicked in, one day I just woke up and felt like my old motivated, and ambitious self. I signed up for online business mgmt classes for a degree program, almost finished a career diploma in creative writing alongside it, and after two weeks of studying business I actually started a business of my own and managed to gain 10 clients in my first week from a succesful ad campaign i ran. I was successful, but being a total moron, I started reverting back to my addictions issues and started using 300mg codeine per day. Partly I was trying to treat my back pain that from scans and physicals seems to have no apparent cause or reason. And really, I had no intention of abusing the med, the dosage gradually went from 30-60 mg a day to 300mg a day because the pain would remain regardless of how much I took, then I within two weeks of starting the T3’s entered a psychotic paranoid state. And my business fell apart, I’ve been declining rapidly for three years. I have no idea how I am still alive. If you heard some of the dangerous risky behaviour I was doing, you would just shake your head.

Sorry for long reply, I’m in a semi manic state and feeling chatty. But in short, to answer the question, yes, and I think abilify is an amazing drug, the first of its kind really. A+ med.

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That’s pretty impressive what you accomplished in the business sense. You must be a natural.

Has your doc ever mentioned neuropathy? I have a bruise on my spinal cord, so I have all kinds of phantom pains on my right side. MRIs , x-rays everything shows nothing. But the pain is quite real. To be honest, I think that’s what they call it when they don’t know what it is.

I’m no stranger to bad decisions, and risky Behavior LOL. Maybe it comes with the territory

Hopefully Abilify can make things a bit better again

The main thing is to gain stability so you are not a danger to yourself or others and that you are able to think reasonably instead of being caught in a delusion. And then when you get that stability you can find strategies to better your life like excersising, supplementing, maybe lowering your medication etcetera.

I have been in that delusion…where you start to question everything in existence. It’s not a fun place to be. I hope you find some meds that works for you and that you get better.

Addiction is a demon itself.
You said manic state. You bipolar?

Maybe the delusions will correct once you are on medication.