I’ve asked similar questions on here before, supposedly having insight into narcissism doesn’t mean you’re a non narcissist. I definitely consider myself attractive, smart, and strong, I’m really witty and charming in conversation, another trait of NPD. I’m really self involved and tend to worry about others judgements of me, I’m also very paranoid of others, supposedly this means I’m projecting all of my malicious intent on to others, I’m very skeptical of people. Any help or opinions? I feel lost and confused, I hope I’m not, I don’t want to be a cold and non loving person my whole life, wish I could have healthy relationships with other people. I’ve been a pretty destructive person in relationships before, but I don’t feel much remorse for it, feel like it was a two way street
What makes you think you’re a narcissist?
I tend to push peoples buttons from time to time, I like attention, I don’t empathize with people and have terrible listening skills, have been abusive, was having a psychotic episode, but it still doesn’t really justify it, tend to not get along well with others, I’m a pretty flashy, flamboyant person in real life, I like to show off to all the people that have negative things to say, or so I perceive, even though it may not be too accurate, in other words, I tend to be arrogant
Maybe it’s the schizophrenia
Could be both, narcissist have to have attention, if they lose it, they tend to be psychotic, I wonder about that. Not saying all schizophrenics are narcissist also, but I wonder about my own case of it
I know you’re not really a psychologist, and we’ve never met in person. I’ve had psychologist tell me they didn’t think I was a narcissist, but I sure feel like one, that’s all I know
But I am a psychologist. Haha. Yeah, it’s true
Sorry I noticed I said that after I wrote it lol, it might be true lol
I would ask a doctor. It’s hard to tell online. Most likely not. Schizophrenia changed me. I have more empathy now but I also have unusual thoughts which the doctor said is from the schizophrenia.
I also thought I was a narcissist too. I think I had a crappy therapist accuse me of being one as a kid/teenager. What a dick! I most likely have Asperger’s. I did have problems with empathy, sympathy, and compassion, but because of great, severe suffering, I have a ton more now. I worry if there is a cure someday, I could revert back to my old ways. I hope not. I sometimes doubt this would happen.
I always had problems making any friends growing up, had problems with eye contact, and socializing. I do have remorse and stuff like that. I think schizophrenia or psychosis can change one’s personality but some people disagree with me.
They say a narcissist cannot tell if they are a narcissist. I remember reading the Wikipedia article as a kid/teenager and always looking into the mirror and stuff. I would fantasize and stuff. Maybe I thought I was attractive or had an imagination or something… Maybe I would look into my flaws or something or not be able to to fully comprehend my face (when the schizophrenia hit, I couldn’t see or recognize my face at all – scary).
Privately, I always thought I was smart or a genius. But I realize I am not after all these years. Maybe it’s a fantasy. I fantasize or fantasized a lot. Maybe it’s genetic.
I never had a girlfriend or any relationship and I’m 30 now.
It’s possible the schizophrenia or isolation as a kid caused me to struggle my entire life! Some say schizophrenic people are odd or weird growing up or different. Some people are normal and the class clown, class kind, or valedictorian.
I had a lot of anger and stuff growing up because of how I was raised. I had to learn forgiveness especially since the schizophrenia happened.
I dissociated a lot too while in college. I had energy drink addiction and stuff. Had issues with my siblings growing up and got in little trouble here and there most likely due to trying to make friends or to be happy. I’m best off alone.
I think I would hate myself if I was a narcissist. My mom seems to marry them a lot.
I think the worst thing I did while growing up was troll people in online video games when I used to play. I had anger issues. I don’t do that anymore.
I’ve been through hell and back.
I checked the personality disorders booklet and while I’m stable on meds I am more histrionic than narcissistic
One thing I do not like or do is lie at all. I’m too honest to a fault now. Theoretically, I can and have lied before especially as a kid, but not anymore. If you ever watch the TV show Lost, Jacob never lies. I feel like that. (I know crazy, off-topic). Unfortunately, I cannot remember anything before 2013 or being alive…but I guess I was. The alternative would be preposterous or impossible or a conspiracy…
My biggest issue is struggling to be a Christian and eternal recurrence/simulation theory. I often felt I was different characters from the TV show Lost. Mainly Jacob or Smoke monster/Man in Black – the two most powerful characters. I know I’m off-topic and it sounds stupid, but smoke monster knew the truth about reality that we live in a computer simulation and that it’s stuck on repeat or a loop. I feel like the island is planet earth. Jacob knew the truth or lied too but wanted to protect people from the truth at the same time. I often feel like he or his brother were computer simulators. Unfortunately, I’m the only one that realizes this…
Ya, anyways, narcissists tend to lie constantly. It seems pathological. I cannot stand this. Seen it growing up…
Sounds like you’re trucking though, interesting post, I have the same problem not being able to get out and find a girlfriend, it’ll happen when it happens though
Are you sure you aren’t finding these traits in yourself because you’re looking for them, and not because they really are that prominent? There’s such a thing as healthy narcissism, and people who aren’t narcissistic can at times behave in a way that seems narcissistic. Psychosis and other stressful situations could also bring out uncharacteristic behavior.
I agree with both @insidemind and @anon9798425. Other illnesses can be like this, but schizophrenia can be a rather egocentric illness in ways. It can sometimes feel like a person with schizophrenia wonders if they’re the center of the universe, if not the center of everything. I know for the longest time I’ve wondered if I was a narcissist, myself, more specifically a covert narcissist, in recent years. In a more recent visit with my pdoc, I finally asked him if he saw anything like it in me, and he said no. And yes, pretty much everyone has narcissistic tendencies. Also, yes, ask your psychiatrist.
I would think the very fact you’re worried about it pretty much rules it out.
Narcissism isn’t an absolute thing you either are or are not… you may have some narcissistic tendencies… but to just say you are a narcissist and nothing can be done is a pretty shallow way of approaching the subject.
“You’re so smart, but this whole time you’ve been missing the point. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.”
I think that they hall mark telling sign of a narcissist is when you really can’t consider other people’s feelings valid. Or if you’d rather believe in a lie than look at reality for what it is… or if you have a problem with lying in general. Narcissists are good at repainting truths to hold themselves in a higher light… and are actually terrible at accepting fairness. Everything is supposed to fall to their whim.
Narcissism isn’t normally about being dominant… narcissism is more the pursuit of being the magically lucky one out of the crowd.
You can grow out of it… it is more or less on the maturity level of a kid in a playground. I think that’s where narcissism shows most prominently. Kids who just have to have the best stuff, start looking pissed if anyone has things that they don’t etc… look to that kind of slant on things. Jealousy is narcissism’s twin.
Just throwing a few thoughts in there. Even a narcissist isn’t some kind of defunct person… narcissists can, and routinely do, do great things for other people.
I agree with you for the most part, @Azley. I should know because I think I was close “friends” with one. Although, I think his case of it was more moderate. Now, I think I disagree with " a narcissist isn’t some kind of defunct person", at least when it comes to extreme narcissism, which someone like Donald Trump possibly has. My narcissistic “friend” was emotionally intelligent somewhat and could at times constructively criticize himself, though. That said, I think from the time I first met and talked to him I knew that there was something off about his personality. So, it’s best to stay away from narcissists as a general rule of thumb.
Maybe I’m really so narcissitic that I stay quiet all the time to avoid repurrcussions.
I feel the same, maybe just not very confident yet
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