Narcissism

Schizophrenia aside, I believe I am a narcissist. I like reviewing my own body of work, ie. I read and reread the posts I have made on this site and only glance over other’s remarks. Reading my own work affirms just how smart and a great communicator I am, both of which are probably not true. Focusing on my own writing gives me a sense of control, something obviously lacking with a dz like sz.

Narcissism:

  • An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
  • Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
  • A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
  • Difficulty with empathy
  • Problems distinguishing the self from others (see narcissism and boundaries)
  • Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)
  • Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
  • Haughty body language
  • Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them (narcissistic supply)
  • Detesting those who do not admire them (narcissistic abuse)
  • Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
  • Pretending to be more important than they really are
  • Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
  • Claiming to be an "expert" at many things
  • Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
  • Denial of remorse and gratitude

I think prior to my illness, my narcissism was greater than it has been post illness. I’m not sure how this is useful, but away it goes!!

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I wouldn’t worry about it. We are over-psychoanalyzed as it is by our voices.

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Thanks, I wasn’t worried about it but thought it might be something to bring up with my therapist.

I have compensatory pseudo narcissism.

That means I’m sort of kinda narcissistic because I actually feel inferior on a deeper level.

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you might be.
All I know is that I’m lost and nothing seems right any more. starting to question everything in a non schizo way.
I can barely even converse with people so it leads me to think what they think of me, I mean I must come of pretty poorly.

@mortimermouse was barking up the right tree, I’m pretty sure. When one’s natural and normal ego is so severely thrashed as it is by sz, it is likely that the ego will attempt cope with compensatory narcissism to lift the person’s moods.

Moreover, if one was narcissistic before the onset of sz, the ego is likely to see the disease as “horrible,” “intolerable” and “something that must be dealt with” by means of ego compensation strategies that are already familiar, “effective” and in place (rather that with “acceptance” (of what is) as Stephen Hayes and other CBT types use that word.

There’s nothing inherently “wrong,” “bad” or “evil” about having narcissistic ego compensation. There may be unfortunate and/or dysfunctional upshots, of course, which may become apparent in intimate relationships for example.

One may wish to look into this with Ph.D.- and MD-level experts like Theodore Millon (who wrote the Axis II “personality disorders” sections of the DSMs II and IV), Aaron Beck & Arthur Freeman, Sam Vaknin, John Livesley, Michael Stone, John Clarkin and Mark Lenzenweger. (I had to read them all in school.)

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When I’m depressed I feel like a failure. When I’m manic I feel like I’m the greatest. It’s a lovely cycle…
Usually after a hypomania mood I may feel ashamed as I know I was being waaay over the top.

Psychosis destroyed my identity for a while. I’m getting better though

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how true that is for me. for the better part of a decade, recovery to me meant ridding myself of the illness. it cuts into the promoting of cbd cannabis that I've poured my energies into. seeking the fix, the out from the illness. but then again, it seems to be a coping strategy, one that has worked for me. horrible at interpersonal stuff but employed and moving forward.

Whether you are a narcissist or not, kudos to you for wanting to deal with it. Most narcissists do not. Maybe you’re not as narcissistic as you think, or maybe you’re just a special kind of narcissist who’s not afraid to ask the right questions. :wink:
Good luck!

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Some of the things you mention are true of me, and some aren’t. That old cliché “there is a fine line between love and hate” is particularly true of our relationship with ourselves.

When I was a teenager, my therapist thought I was a narcissist. I really don’t know if I have it. I have narcissistic thoughts but I can control myself and act normal. I prefer my previous diagnosis and suspected Aspergers because it deals with limited empathy. I am starting to doubt that I have Aspergers and that my social dysfunction is just due to sz. It still doesn’t explain pre-illness. But maybe I was a tad bit schizoid with social anxiety. I really don’t know. I definitely have AS traits and if I do have it, it’s mild.

I really like your writing, and especially your lists, and I tend to admire a lot of people on here. We tend to be our own worst critics.

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I think everyone has a few narcissistic traits. Recognising a few of these in oneself doesn’t make you a narcissist. I believe there is levels of severity to the whole idea.

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Narcissistic people are resistant to any kind of (self)criticism. I know that, I live with one.

Does that mean your mother, Sara? I think the matriarchs of the family have that tendency.

No it is my boyfriend.
But she is a senior narciss, if there is even a category.

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I think Im isolating more by choice/need than anyhing else and then I become a narcissist to not be completely alone. Something like that. Sam Vaknin described this. Schizoid/narcissist.

There is nothing new in trying to link narcissism to schizophrenia. Freud did as much in his “On Narcissism” [1914]. Klein’s contribution was the introduction of immediately post-natal internal objects. Schizophrenia, she proposed, was a narcissistic and intense relationship with internal objects (such as fantasies or images, including fantasies of grandeur). Sam Vaknin