I’m not trying to be one of these people who are like, fishing for compliments or whatever, but I can’t deal with this. I want so badly to not feel evil. I’ve done good things, I have. Really good things, but also bad things. Really bad things.
Schizophrenia as a punishment pretty much never fits the crime. There is no judge and jury who will say “you’ve suffered enough, you’re free to go”, you just have to persevere through the endless, Kafkaesque ■■■■■■■■ until some real world angel gives you the right treatment.
Schizophrenia isn’t a failure of spirituality, it’s a failure of brain physiology that can’t be prayed away.
Sardonic all we have do things that we did regret thats life.
u think 2 much i dont believe u are a bad person and some thinking is healthy on how we react in everyday life matters.
u just need to relax and think that ull do your best when time comes like be fair and nice.
You r a good girl…
I feel guilty. The feeling went away for a little while, but now it’s back. Makes me sick to my stomach, and I can’t figure out what exactly brings it on. There are all these crazy scenarios that play in my head, about me killing people or choosing to let them die in order to save myself, and it just makes me feel like a freaking murderer or something, like maybe it happened in another lifetime, or maybe it will happen in the future, I don’t know.
I don’t think youre a bad person! We might not always agree but I’ve never thought of you as bad!!
We cant always control our thoughts and sometimes we all think really ■■■■■■ up things. But the fact that we choose not to act on it or are even scared of it is a good thing.
The fact you’re so worried about proves to me that you aren’t a murderer.
I did much worse things than anyone could imagine. But still there is life. Till we live we can follow this quote which i think is very powerful: When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let is destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you
I don’t know if you are a bad person or not but the first step to being a good person is to stop doing bad things and start doing good things. The second step may be making amends to anyone you hurt or did bad things to. This could be a face-to-face apology, an apology in a letter or paying someone back money, or confessing to something you did wrong. If you want to feel good about yourself and ease a guilty conscience then try to get out of your head and maybe help others. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Or at a wildlife rescue center.
That’s the strange thing. I’m a 20 year old with early onset schizophrenia. I haven’t done anything that I haven’t confessed to, apologized for, or rectified, except stuff that’s impossible to fix like stealing that cookie when I was like 10, and I do what I can to help within my means. Like, I live in the middle of Texas. I can’t drive, I can’t work, and there’s no public transportation. I can’t volunteer anywhere because I have no way of getting anywhere. I can’t donate money because I don’t have any. It’s so stupid. I do what I can, so why the fúck do I feel so guilty, as if these ideas in my head are memories, or possibly soon to come? Like, this feeling doesn’t make any sense.
doesn’t really matter, leave the past in the past and try to be a good person in the present and future
Ive done bad things in my past but that doesn’t make me a bad person cos im not like that now.
As long as youre trying your best to be a good person then theres no reason for u to be a bad person
Well, if you have actually only done stuff like stealing cookies and the rest of your “transgressions” are only in your head than rip up your list of “things that you’re beating yourself up over for nothing.” But the standard rule for mentally ill people is that if you feel you are a real danger to yourself or others than have someone take you to the emergency room and get evaluated.
You are only 20 just coming out of your teenageryears. I messed my head with religion and they put you on a guilttrip. I felt guilty for all sorts of stuff. But what is out of your control and responsibility is out of your control and responsibility. You are forgiven, you got to forgive yourself. Be nice to yourself. Work,rest and play.
@Sardonic hang in there. We all feel like bad people with voices like that. You’re not bad your voices are.