Am feeling is meaningless

I have been hearing voices for the past three years and they have snatched away my everything. I have tried for a job five times, but had to quit because of voices and my bad psychological state. I was hospitalised also for two months as I was feeling unsafe @ home. I felt as if my neighbours were conspiring against me and there is some spiritual leader behind my voices. I kept feeling the same. I went to various places from healers to masters, but could not get the solution. Some meditation expert told me it is intuition, but I experienced it to be brain-washing as I was tormented by voices and was forced to think in a particular direction. I also heard the voices of my neighbours that were same as I heard and sometimes as if they said certain things in a way as if they were trying to convey me that THEY are behind it. It happened continually so I have lost interest in life. I have also lost interest in life. I feel sad and feel destructive. I sometimes want those people to suffer who have damaged me and still are after my life. I don’t know what to do now??? I am feeling terrible. I am feeling sad. I am feeling miserable. I am feeling lost. I am feeling psychotic. I have lost interest as well as trust in people. I feel as if am surrounded with demons and witches. I feel unhappy. I have fighting with these abusive voices and now I am exhausted. I am tired of listening to abusive, cheap, sarcastic, threatening words of neighbours. I am exhausted of their politics and am scared of their threats. I am feeling damaged to the core. I am feeling like a loser. I don’t know what to do? I want their love and respect and they are damaging me. I want them to accept me and they are harming me. And I also have negative emotions for them. I am feeling entangled and my life is going nowhere. I have lost trust I humanity. I am feeling blank as well as have developed triggers. I am scared of future for myself as well as of my loved ones as voices and people are using me against me n my loved ones. I feel as my words are damaging them…shaping their lives. I am feeling lonely. I am sensing their cruel intentions as they want me to go to asylum. They also want to harm my loved ones. I don’t care if it’s attachment or something else. I don’t care if it’s intention or something else. I just know it is brain-washing and am feeling suffocated. I am finding no way out. PLEASE HELP!!

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hey, i am sorry you are feeling bad…sorry the voices are screwing with you.
but in no way are you a loser…think about it…
you battle against one of the worst mental illnesses you can get…sz.
but you are still here…
you are looking for work…good on you.
you are obvoiusly feeding yourself…looking after yourself…which is another accomplishment.
don’t be so hard on yourself.
the voices are annoying but you do get used to it…it becomes like a radio in the background.
as for your neigbours we can over estimate what they are actually doing, we can create conspiracys’ where there are none…i have done it myself…
if you need help ring a ’ lifeline ’ or help line, tell someone how you are feeling, go to the local hospital if you need to.
life does get better, tomorrow is another day.
know someone cares.
take care


Sometimes I have thought that a lot of the pain I have felt was because of insensitive or uncaring or unkind treatment from others. I remind myself that the best revenge is to live well. And honestly, after real Hell in my twenties, I have had greater than three decades where life has been relatively sweet.


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I am sorry you are going through your hard times. Hard times do not last forever. This will pass too. Just be patient and keep your loved ones updated of your circumstances. As sith suggested, contact lifeline where you could talk about your concerns.

Posting on this forum is very wise decision to cope the feelings.Take life easy, you are doing so much for yourself and I am sure that you are a loving person. You are not a loser.

No one comes in the world with a set purpose. We find our purposes with time. Purposes come and go but if we see closely we can find many other reasons to live.

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Darksith pretty much covered it. Get help if you need it asap.

Also not sure of your location but sounds like you do need more help. Places like NAMI in the US. Richmond Fellowship in Australia etc offer upto date information, techniques and support. Something to look into more if you hadn’t. Offline support groups are also good as often can give ideas of what support is available to you in your area. Therapy helps with learning ways to deal with the illness as well. Learning ways to reduce the severity helps a great deal. So you’re able to have an relatively normal existence. Meds tweaks are sometimes a constant untill you find the right combination and takes time. You’re not alone with what your going through many here are going through or have been there done that. We are also here if you need us. Hang in there it does get better.

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You seem to have a grip on what you’re going through and how to relate experiences. Life is full of meaning, in every single speck of energy around us. Being a complex human with desires and needs means you understand deep down, you want more. But this illness causes so much suffering. I’m sitting here in my room with the door locked. I wish I could tell you that I know for sure you will get better, most likely you will find more clarity if you get help you need. Medications do work, and they work by acting on certain chemicals that can help alleviate symptoms and bring insight into what’s going on and how schizohrenia can make people act strange or think unusual things.

It’s not schizophrenia that makes a person unique, it’s who they really are.

I also don’t think it’s brainwashing because I know people who spent a good portion of their lives afraid of their own shadows, and the hard truth is that the illness can’t be wished away no matter how religious people get.

I hope you find help soon and that eventually the words make more sense and u dont have hallucinations etc.

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How you react to situations like you describe can determine what kind of treatment you get from the authorities. Try not to do anything precipitous - especially suicide. Remember, once you do something like that you cannot take it back. No matter how abject you are you can always turn things around. You can always find some way to benefit humanity - some kind of contribution you can make. You can always find a reason to be happy no matter how bad things get.


you are not alone in this.
look at this forum, people struggle day in day out.
I hope that you also gain strength from this.

and i hope that you can give meaning too your life or too others.