Almost 5am

Violent thoughts and surges of adrenaline… ■■■■!!

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Having trouble breathing normally… why is this terrible disease doing this to me?

I’m shaking I’m a total mess somebody talk to me please.

Deep breath, @jesusjones, hold for three seconds, let it out.

What’s going on?


I had horrible visions of hurting people … I do the want it it is not the way I am

Why must I have such realistic thoughts? I know I would never act on them… why are they so real?

Key thing here is that you would never act on them.

These are intrusive thoughts. They’re not meaningful in any other way than that you find them repulsive. They’re ego-dystonic, meaning that they are at odds with your personality and values. It’s the nature of them.

Have you ever had a puppy, or known a young child that wants attention? They’ll always pick the thing that makes you drop everything - running off with a favorite shoe to chew on, yelling really loudly - anything that you can’t ignore.

Your brain is doing the same thing. This kind of thought gets a severe reaction from you, so it’s what your brain trots out. It’s not you.

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It’s tough, but try not reacting to that thought. Just think, Oh, that’s interesting, and move on with what you’re doing.

Maybe picture the thought as a leaf in a stream, or a cloud in the sky. Watch it float past and let it go.

Are you on your med’s? If you are, maybe you should talk to your doctor about a med change. I think that you’re probably safe from acting on your med’s, but there might be other ways of acting out you might engage in if your mind keeps running away with you. I’ve skipped a few doses of my own med’s, but I started noticing danger signals in my thinking, so I started taking my med’s again.

Thank you very much for the calm explanation. I feel much better today.