One of our peer support workers answered my text how he was doing with a long mail on how lonely he was. He doesnt see his child and grandchild, doesnt have a relationship, and very little friends. He is the sweetest guy. I dont know what to do or say - loneliness just hurts. I am not his psychologist, not his friend, im his supervisor. What can i say, do?
How do you guys deal with loneliness? Have any of you “solved” it?
And from my own perspective - I too have been lonely and sometimes still are. It helps that i have a child and a few people who care about me. But still i sometimes miss a partner, miss having more real friends and the pain that stands inbetween me and my family makes me feel lonely too at times. I dont really have good solutions though.
Thats a tough one. Im 100% isolated rn and symptomatic af so i definitely havent solved it. Basically what im trying out rn is focusing on other people not myself. Ill be looking to volunteer or work or something and posting on this forum in reply to others.
So yeah basically i think you have to stop looking inwards, especially when sht isnt going your way and you’re also lonely as can be. Looking inwards usually doesn’t solve anything. So idk if you could try and show him (as opposed to telling him) to try to focus on others?
Idk not a great answer from me, hopefully someone else on the forum knows a solid strategy. Hes a volunteer so it sounds like he probably already tries to help others. You could, as a supervisor, try to involve him more in activities that are mostly people oriented, assuming thats not currently already happening.
Best of luck though. It is a tough one.
Sorry you are feeling so isolated and symptomatic. I hope you can find something that helps. Volunteering and later working helped me a lot to feel less lonely and locked up within myself. I hope something like that would work for you as well.
I think you are right about the inward vs outward focus. It is a good answer! I think i will have a conversation with him and his social worker (he is a client still) about this and also see if he wants to do more volunteering, or volunteering that helps him more socially. I have also got a group for these volunteers, which does seem to work well for him. But he misses someone to genuinely share things with.
I feel a bit inhibited because of our work relationship…He is genuinely the sweetest guy, and fun too, so i would easily invite him for something if i had met him in private - a lunch, a walk, an art activity.
I wish i could give him a gf, his kid, his grandchild, a few friends. :-/
Just let him be himself. He is already reaching out as far as he can right now. In clude him, befriend him if possible. He is a great guy but all the other stuff not totally necessary until he is ready. Volunteering is a big step, atta boy to him, encouragement goes a long way…
Say what you told us about your own loneliness. It means you understand. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to who understands
Maybe he was hitting on you. You never know.
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