I tried an ad twice…first one mostly blunted my emotions, good and bad, which imho is the whole point of how & why an AD works. Second made me impulsive (even more than normal), artificially happy, energetic and slightly hypomanic. ADs changed my emotions (–> numb), not my thinking. I voted “worse”.
I think an AD works to stop feeling stuff (emotional pain). Not to change thinking patterns.
Sorry btw you’re thinking badly of yourself…I know how it feels (see other topic). Hope you can see things more positively, have you tried therapy? What is the reason you are so harsh and disappointed about yourself?
If you are like me the sz mind can have quite negative effects that does not necesseraly mean depression. I dont think anti depressents would help that for me I think it is best for me to stick with aps. I have been depressed before where i felt a bit hopeless, I have a lot better outlook on life now.