Mostly what I fear is certain illness which meds can cause as a side effect. And that maybe, I will never have a baby cause of meds.
And the fact, that meds are the only thing which works for me for 100%. I know, if I would skip that for a week as I did once, my symptoms would slowly creep back.
I have no control over myself without ablify.
And I fear skipping meds. I non stop think ‘what if my doctor will forget to prescribe me meds?’
‘What if I will forgot the dose?’
‘What if I will have a disabled baby because of meds?’
In fact I know meds are crucial to me, and I am thankful we found the right ones. But I have many fears connected to meds.
I still haven’t fully accepted it I guess. But there comes a point, after trying reducing or quitting unsuccessfully where you become a bit resigned to the possibility that meds for life may indeed be the best option.
I have been beaten down and frustrated by attempts to reduce or quit and have begrudgingly accepted that this is likely my fate. Its not a question of “how” in many cases. It will force itself upon you without effort from yourself. At least in my case.
I’ve also started understanding it as a fate. Like, I woke up and I know I just need to take meds to not feel badly.
Strange though,
Before illness I thought I will never need ANY meds. I was very naive one… I thought no illness will affect me during lifetime.
And the one illness I feared the most (thanks for media which created the fear) became my actual everyday life.
@Bowens as you seem active at the moment,
may I ask,
do you also have bad sensations if you skip meds? I literally feel when I skip meds as if I had physical illness. And I become anxious, but in a different way than on meds.
I start fearing my thoughts and everything around me.
If it makes sense what I said
As that what I noticed during that week without meds. Two first days were not bad, but the third one was actually a bit paranoid. And on the sixth day I was talking with a dead neighbour. Sorry if it’s disturbing. I was hallucinating what I mean.
Thanks. It did answered my question.
I’ve also was feeling quite ill when I went from ablify to vraylar. Strange though, they say vraylar is a great and a new med. But I was feeling waaay worse than on ablify.
I think I could do well without meds after long period of no positive symptoms, at least it’s worth a try…but I have been on the same meds for 17 years, trying to quit gives me whitdrawals I am unable to deal with, like extreme insomnia.
I am working on finding something for sleep with my doctor, but the zyprexa is very powerful, and my health is poor, so I can’t really endure much insomnia when experimenting. Maybe I will have to be on meds for life even if I don’t really need them.
Meds is the only solution to the problem. I was once on so much meds that I should have died of it. I have lost so many mental friends to substance abuse, suicida and neuroleptics. Last week I said good
bye to my last mental phone friend. He got a blood cloth in his brain. From one moment to the
Next he was unable to move. They had to feed him with a sonde. He was only 62 years. We had been friends for 20 years. Good bye my last mental friend.
