Hey,
Does anyone else have an abusive living home life going on? I do and it sucks big time. Like really, I can’t believe that sick people like us are treated this way. It seems to be the standard. It’s really quite terrifying and it does keep me up some nights as I wonder what I’m going to do about this. I’ve been trying to reason with my family for years now and it’s just a giant tug of war. They just don’t give an inch (or a crap for that matter no matter how dire my mental illness is).
In fact, it’s actually worse than that they will take a proactive approach at terrifying me, etc.
Like for instance tonight I got into a fight with my mom for the milllionth time about keeping the kitchen blinds closed because I suffer from photo-phobia and of course they don’t listen or take it seriously until I have to flip out at her and make her try to understand. However, it just falls on deaf ears (as always) and then she threatens to just kick me out on the streets because she “can’t put up with it.”
Also I’ve mentioned before that my dad actually will go out of his way to harass me. Before, I let him know what some of my halucinations were saying in the form of his voice as a cry for help and you know what he did? He then proceeded to quote the viscious halucinations verbatum in actual reality in an attempt to harass me.
Talk about a toxic envirnment. This is so bad for someone with schizophrenia. You know people like us really need care and love… too bad we usually get the opposite.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about this. It never changes here. It’s been like this for years+.
It’s completely rediculous… and I’m still waiting to get approved for SSDI/SSI.
As a kid I never knew the kind of horrors that can go on behind closed doors let alone ever think that I would be a victim of it.
In an attempt to save my skin here I’m currently freeing myself from all vices predominantly being nicotine… So I’ll be able to take care of myself better.
Man, what a nightmare… Hopefully some day I’ll never have to look back.
2 Likes
i am sorry you are in that environment.
but there are worse family environments you can be in.
i feel for you, but it would be hard for your parents…it is hard being a carer of someone who is mentally ill.
try and see it from their perspective…they want you to get better…and are trying to cope also.
i hope you get your disability…that will give you some independence.
know someone cares .
take care 
1 Like
No… Darksith…
It’s not like that…
It’s really bad. Like my dad would just throw me in the hospital for no reason and just laugh. My mom is really stupid too so she really has no clue. And… Oh yeah, I’m also a caregiver my self. See my dad had a stroke and can’t walk anymore, and thus he’s a bitter and twisted old man.
I really don’t want this downplayed, in all earnisty this is just the tip of the ice burg man. I can’t even type some of the atrocities that I’ve suffered.
I know what you mean by “other people suffered worse”.
And the screwed up part is that he knows what the hospitals are really like. It’s not like he’s really trying to get me any sort of actual help…
Like… It’s really the context that makes it really screwed up. You’d have to see it for yourself. For example, before I didn’t even know what was going on and I didn’t know why I was being treated the way I was. I recently found out that it was all for no reason except basically because 1) I don’t work and 2) because I listened to rap music and talked with a city accent.
I didn’t actually do anything wrong though… And like if you knew what was inside of my heart… And then how I’m realizing now that I’ve been tormented for years for no reason… Then you’d understand the severity of the injustice… Like I still sleep with stuffed animals. And then I say like fa real!!! And I’m basically in the hospital again.
You don’t know how long it took me to figure this non sense out… And I’m PISSED!!!
It’s really complicated and stupid…
But its still very serious. And I’m gonna hate my parents for life for it unfortunately it looks like.
Religion and politics and all that…
…? What kind of condecending twisted form of support is this! this is basically exactly what I’m talkin about.
Jeeezus- Permaban me again please!
Now you’re speaking my language.
your right i don’t know what your household is like…i am sorry if you think i am being unsupportive.
is there someone other than a family member who you can talk to ? …a therapist…a good friend.
being sz is not easy.
sorry again if you thought i was being unsupportive… 
know someone cares.
take care
1 Like
I’m not for the US but generally get the impression to get disability in the USA it’s a case of get a lawyer. That will at least get the ball rolling faster for you.
Do you have a support worker? If not see if you can get one also to help you move out faster and with support.
2 Likes
You don’t need a lawyer to get disability in the US if you have enough things documented.
I applied on the phone and 3 months later I got it.
1 Like
Sorry to hear this man. If you get disability you’ll get some back pay which could set you up somewhere else for a while. Perhaps long enough to find something part time that isn’t to stressful to make ends meet once the back pay runs out.
Wish I could help buddy, some people are just outright rotten. Perhaps not totally, but in part. It’s always tough to see posts like this on here because there isn’t really anything anyone can do. So as far as venting goes, we hear yah and feel for yah. We’re all hoping you can get something better sorted out down the line.
3 Likes
I’m sorry guys, I don’t mean to be like this. I’m just so tired of schizophrenia.
I had to give up my requirements.
I had to give up my rules and regulations.
I had to give my shoulds, oughts, musts and have-to’s.
I had to give up my imperatives.
I had to start doing life on life’s terms.
I had to recognize that my family was crazier than I was.
I had to learn to adjust to What Is.
I had to learn to do what I could to control my environment and ignore what I cannot do anything about.
I had to learn to see my family for what The Actually Were.
And Just… let them be.
(If you think your family is insufferable, you ought to move into a class C, county lock-up where the thugs take all the food, steal from your smoke drawer, push you around until you buy them something from the vending machine, threaten the nurses and techs into submission, and rape the female pts in the bathrooms.)
And THAT was when I began to crawl up out of the pit.
1 Like
We all are man. It limits life in pretty much every way.
1 Like
Yeah that’s really good advice. You know, I knew it was like that, but I just… idk… that kinda sucks.
btw, what is a class C county lock-up? I’ve never heard of it.
The last house on the block “asylum” for the medically indigent. No actual treatment. Just meds and chaos 24/7/365. Been there, done it.
1 Like
Well thanks for helping me. I guess I should just sort of, “calm down” so to speak. God, if only it wasn’t so degrading…
Anyway thanks, thanks to everyone…
I’m gonna go find someway to be useless now. Like, over there somewhere.
Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” painting says it all…
1 Like
Hey man, teach yourself to space out at will. It’s great. It’s safe I think. I’ll let you know if I forget how to speak or something like that.
1 Like
Haha, that sounds great. Thanks for the consolation, I think I almost relapsed tonight or something.
I read that you were blank-slating on another thread that you made. That sounds like heaven. I’m gonna start doing that too. I like your new coping strategies. You should make a thread about that.
I’m gonna be trying that more often.
Takes a while, then it becomes easier. Then it becomes natural to just blank state instead of having unpreferable thoughts. Then you just start having more preferable thoughts. Then it’s kind of like consciousness restored unless you comes across the wrong triggers.
1 Like