I feel like my medical staff doesn’t take my condition seriously at all. I’m trying to fight off the anxiety but it’s really taking up my life energy. They keep punching me in the face for no reason at all just wham all day. So the raping has subsided a bit, but honestly it seems to be just one thing to another with my (hostage taking hallucinations).
I’m trying to see the use in even living right now. I haven’t had a drink in a few days and I don’t really see the use in living if I can’t get drunk while this ■■■■ is going on. They’re slime balls I swear.
Anyways, I’m trying to tell people at the VA I’m being tortured and it’s like I have a dick on my forehead when I tell people why I’m so anxious: (well I’m a tortured schizo and my life sucks). I feel more and more every day like a targeted individual and not schizophrenic at all. I’m sick of it all, they’re using me up and acting like slobs.
Yeah it does feel like a computer is regulating my mind and I’m ■■■■■■■ sick of it. I’m going to snap on somebody soon and it’s not going to be good. They need to quit experimenting on and torturing me. All of my hallucinations are military people and government officials, and they’re torturing me for speaking out about my past experiences not liking what I have to say.
It’s pretty much torture in torture out. And they know it is, they know that they torture me all day every day to control me because it gives them a powerful feeling. I think they’re the shittiest, fakest plastic people I’ve ever met.
I thought giving up alcohol would be a simple thing, like after a week of not drinking I would be finished. But it was not like that, I totally think that I was not addicted to alcohol but I am/was addicted to the feeling and lifestyle of being drunk. What are you doing to occupy your time now you are sober?
I’m sorry you suffer so much, @neveragain. And I’m sorry people aren’t taking your hallucinations seriously. I think a lot of people just assume that if you know it’s not real, it won’t upset you as much. But that’s not the case. Hallucinations, especially ones like yours, are terrifying. I wish there was a way to make it better.
I went to a guitar group jam with my mom who jams ukelele today, I also have watched alot of videos of people in America fighting with each other over the election. It looks horrible.
Well maybe you could come up with a method to identify this stuff for yourself. I’m also thinking about doing this, coming up with a method that will ease the symptoms we get. I’m thinking of a multitude of ideas, but all I can say is I don’t feel this is a normal case of schizophrenia I have government and military officials playing games in my head and torturing me. Now I know I’ve been punished for some past mistakes-which I surely have made. Yet this has just gone way too far and they’re trying to play God over me by violating my mind.
So just for today, I’ll try breathing exercises, visualizing stress I’ll use reiki techniques to remove negative energy, and I’ll pray some more to try to get a handle on this out of whack situation. It was two days ago Barack Obama AGAIN came and started harassing me about how he could detain me and lock me up indefinitely because I watched a cartoon called, (the boondocks) which made fun of the president and called him the N word.
I’m sick of being on the receiving end of all these officials frustrations, I didn’t make the cartoon all I did was watch it and now I’m being harassed again.
So breathing exercises, visualizing negative energy I’ll remove it using reiki, and praying. It’s pretty much all I can do right now.
Even though it may seem like a longshot, or you may worry that people won’t believe you or take you seriously which is what happens to me most of the time…I think you should do some research and testing into what you’ve told me. I never knew about rh blood until you mentioned it so I am VERY unfamiliar and I watched some of a video on it but was ultimately left a little bit confused. That’s how anyone would be maybe?? I dunno, I’ve heard alot of legends about the Merovingian blood line and holy blood and dragon blood and all sorts of different blood.
The thing is if it’s true, how can we relate to these bloods and bond with them instead of being conquered by most of them??