a close relative was so selfish that she kept bringing in out of control psychotic people to hurt me so she could get in good with the psychiatrists.
i hope i don’t hate her. she’s my mom.
judy
3 Likes
Hi judy how are u …i also hate a lot of my close relatives including mom and dad …i know its not me it’s my Sz talking…!!!
2 Likes
my mom doesn’t give a damn about me. when these out of control psychotics hurt me she would take their side and punish me for being there.
she takes every opportunity to hurt me… and to wreck my life as much as she can…
judy
1 Like
I’m sorry. That’s a hard environment to have to live in. I wish there were some prerequisites to being a parent, like having the capacity to love.
exactly. i did all the right things like educated myself and did the religion etc., all i could.
she couldn’t love me. it was too much for her. she is a holocaust survivor.
i even behaved myself like an angel despite her constant rejection and verbal abuses.
my life has been a tragedy, that’s all. you can imagine how i feel about it.
judy
1 Like
And yet, you’re still one of the most optimistic people on here. That says a lot about your character.
thank you so much ninjastar. i wish i were a happier person and i work at it.
things could be a whole lot worse than they are.
i like the picture next to your name. it is pretty and happy looking.
keep smiling ninjastar. the world will smile back at you.
judy
1 Like
It’s good to let yourself be sad sometimes, too. I’m working on that. Allowing myself to feel negative emotions instead of ignoring them until they overflow.
1 Like
holidays can be hard
I feel that way many times about my mother
but we’re supposed to be all happy and peaceful
at Christmas
2 Likes
I think it’s human nature to want our parents to love us, but we don’t have the ability to change another person. We can have sympathy for the person, even love the person, but the bottom line is that anyone who does not love and respect us has no place in our lives.
1 Like
sounds like a nice xmas to me 
I think I am finally able to forgive my mother. I had been trying to for so long, but I couldn’t do it, because she never admitted she did anything wrong. She always acted like she was completely unaware that she stole from me and made me homeless and broke. But the other day, we were talking about cookies I was making for her to bring to a Christmas party, and she said, “of course you’re saving my ass again. It’s what you always do. I get myself into stupid situations, and you bail me out.”
It wasn’t exactly an apology, but it was at least an acknowledgment that she knew that what she does to me isn’t right or fair. And so, I can finally forgive her. I think, in order to truly forgive, I need to know that my forgiveness is actually wanted. Maybe it’s not this way for everybody. Maybe others can just let things go more easily. But I am glad, because I feel like I can finally release all the leftover resentment.
4 Likes
When I learned to forgive my life improved tremendously, for I no longer had resentment in my heart. It was gradually revealed to me that when I had resentment the only person suffering was me.
1 Like
i need to get away from my mom and some of her family in order to be able to put it aside and forgive.
judy
3 Likes
Yeah, distance was necessary for me, too. I had to stay away for almost two years, and now, I still only visit occasionally. You need to be in a position where their actions can no longer hurt you, otherwise, they will just keep reopening the wounds.
1 Like
From the bottom of my heart, my mom is a pig, and absolute animal. Disgusting savage, and I’m not talking about about what I had or didn’t when I was growing up (love, stuff, whatever) that’s irrelevant. I’m talking about raw bullying and abuse… I started earning my own money at the age of 15 and when I turned 16 once I got my passport I took off.
She makes me stomach sick, just like evil jihadi suicide bomber would. I don’t subscribe to any idealogy, motivational speeches or biblical memes. To me forgiving doesn’t release anything, (even sz runs my life) it feels liberating to not give a ■■■■. I’m not a victim I feel better keeping my enemies at bay. I feel safe