A trouble of fitting in

This is going on my whole life: I can’t find myself belonging anywhere. Like, people tend to find friends or groups based on similar interests and some basic life philosophy - you have, say, the believers, punkers, leftists, hippies, atheists, rave crowd, computer folks, gamers and my most favourite the hipsters… So on.
But my views are so eclectic and my life is out of regular that I have never found a human nor an identity I could put my finger on and say: that is what I live too.

Like…the believers. Have them so many around. I believe in God…I’m not an atheist but damn it those folks tend to be the most closed minded and unaware of their own ideological blindness!
I also don’t like radical atheists, those who bash other people for believing in something they find unbelievable …

Where I live the borders are pretty sharp: if you identify with a certain life style, you do not identify with some different one. Everything is so monochrome.

I do like people of literature though. But then again, my disappointment only gets bigger if i find them caged into stereotypes that they are not supposed to have…

Also, 99% of people I know have never heard for any psychiatric term beyond depression.

Do you have trouble of fitting in?


yes. I’ve always said, I’m true to myself, but it still feels empty.

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Yes I really identify with what you have written.

I have lived in this town for 8 years and I haven’t found anyone I could really call a friend outside of work colleagues.

I don’t have anyone other than my partner, who shares interests and views.

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welcome home to the island of misfit toys. My life is broken but I crawl through it to the other side of just trying to be positive in life. It’s the only life we have.


No need to label yourself. I like hippies but don’t think I am a hippie. You are Sara. I am Jon. We should be proud of our individuality. I too am eclectic. I like philosophy nature sports music writing reading anything and science. I constantly am changing its hard to keep up. People act smug, I’m about to erupt. Be proud of being you…not many are fortunate to be themselves. If someone doesn’t like you because you don’t fit in their little clique than ■■■■ them!


Yes but I feel so alone. What’s the point of being “unique” if it doesn’t make you happy.?
I just wish I could finally speak to a human while being…like, nothing but myself.

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I’m conservative, but im liberal.

I’m a believer in God, but no religion fits me.

Makes it hard to fit in sometimes but it’s possible I believe.

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That’s beautifully said. And so true, at least for me.

so you identify with the hipsters then eh? how would you describe a hipster?

i am a believer but i am one of the most open minded people on the planet and so is almost everybody i know, one of my fellow Christians treated me to a bowl of soup yesterday when they saw me sitting outside a pub myself and i thought that was a really nice thing to do, i was talking away to them as well, very interesting.

i have met a lot of very interesting people already who attend the weekly service and they come from all walks of life, probably even a Christian Scientist there as well lol (those scholars know there place in life) haha jk

i guess after years o searching i have found my true calling to be a believer even if i do have a mental illness (as long as the meds keep me stable enough) :slight_smile:

are you ok, Sarad? not that what you’ve said should disqualify you from being ok, just that

depression seeps in.

You just got find friendly people…you’re a friendly person, no?

I find friendliness is the #1 thing that keeps people together.

When I went to Washington j had a 10 min convo with this friendly homeless guy…he didn’t want my money but he helped me find a coffee shop …we walked around for ten minutes chatting. We realized we had a lot in common actually and we both were friendly. He said “let me know if you need help with anything :).” As I was saying goodbye. Just be kind…and kind ppl will come. I believe. That’s y I put bumper stickers on my car cuz it attracts people who are crazy enough like I am and says screw u to the rest. Idk if im helping but ya

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Nah man, hipsters are ridiculous. I was joking :relaxed: or trying to.
@daze thanks for asking, I think im doing good now …better than a month before…focusing on one thing; Just dont let the existential dread to set in.

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I too identify with what you’ve written.

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I’ve always felt like The Outsider.

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The solution would be to start a group of people that identify themselves as Sarads.

That way if you feel that you don’t fit in with someone they aren’t real Sarads :wink:


i don’t even know what a hipster is,

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I’ve gone through problems of trying to fit in to certain groups like at school before but then I realized it was all bull. There is no need to try to conform to one certain group completely. You shouldn’t have to change the real you to find real good friends. You may find people with common interests and they might seem like they belong solely to a certain group but you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Like with your example of believers and atheists. Not all believers are close minded and not all atheists are radical. Everyone is their own person in one way or another and they all have their own opinions and likes and dislikes. I found friends that don’t try and conform to one identity and I don’t try to label them for who they are and what they like and dislike. But we share some things in common. They just do them and that’s perfectly reasonable.

As for me for example I try to dress in clothes that I like. If I choose to wear a suit vest over a ripped t shirt with jeans or some other “worse” fashion faux pas like short jean shorts with crocs and socks I do it. If people don’t like it. ■■■■ em. My true friends don’t judge me by the clothes I wear or how I look in general. They just care about who I am as a person and friend.

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I wore sports bra over a T-shirt, backward, going into the library, and didn’t even realize how ridiculous it was until the librarians squinted at me.

I don’t do it on purpose.

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I’m the ultimate outsider. The guy on the outside who’s always looking in. I’ve spent most of my life feeling like this too. It really gets to me sometimes. Aside from playing soccor on the school team one year in high school, I wasn’t part of any clique or group for four years. And I didn’t even really feel accepted by the rest of the team, but a few people were cool towards me.

I was a wannabe stoner, but I was even on the outside of the outsiders. I think any of my relative success after becoming schizophrenic is an over-compensation for being invisible most of my life. I missed out on so many life experiences when I was younger even though I did some cool stuff and had a lot of fun as a kid, that I figure god blessed me with whatever it takes to hold down a job. Who knows?

Even on this site, everyone here knows I don’t fit in but I put out my best effort and I like to be liked. At least you’re intelligent, pretty, and nice Sarad. Count your blessings. Not everybody has what you have.


“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”

Groucho Marx