Never felt I fit in

Growing up I’m like 8 different heritages, 4 different religions which I identify with none of them,…used to be atheist now Taoist but genetically theres 3-4 religions in my blood that are not either of those. my family all poor except my dad and his dad cuz theyre smart business men…I never was smart.

So I live in nice town and stuff but trust different people than what most my peers did… my trust backfired eventually. Didn’t ever feel a part of any group of people. Never did!!! In a world where people stick together there was no one I can say I’m a part of. It’s better in the long term but made life difficult growing up. My parents conservative , me going back and forth politically but ultimately liberal/libertarian. I never felt I belong anywhere. Confusing time. I almost like that being sz I can belong amongst other szs. Even if it is more difficult than belonging with other groups…

I was always way different. My best friend was from Australia because he was different. My other best friend tons of domestic problems. Because he was different. I always hung with outcasted people. But it only made me more outcasted and eventually was outcasted by the outcasts.

My cousin suffered the same fate I feel as I did very similar but parallel story. He has issues now too… so does his brother.

Where do I belong? With the recovering addicts and szs I say!! But associating with that group just separates me further and further from other groups. Oh well.

I never really fit in either. I had a group of friends but I always sort of just went along with their plans. I look back on it and I don’t think anyone actually cared if I was there or not. I still have friendships with my high school friends though so that says something. I don’t know, some days fitting in doesn’t even sound appealing anyway. You’re better off hanging out with Don Juan.

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I fit in very well everywhere.

I think this is a problem many with mental illness share, and your background just emphasizes it. When I was 8 I started realizing that I was different from other kids.


I get where you’re coming from John. I’ve had few friends in life. Some of my last friends I had who were a couple on welfare, I think they were just using me to have someone pay for them to eat out once a week. They would insist on buying huge amounts of food and restrict what we could eat so they could take enough for a full meal home. When I said I can’t eat pizza anymore (Celiac disease) but I could have a beverage or salad instead, that’s when they stopped hanging out with me.

@IndustrialLad I am sorry you had such a bad experience.
If I were your friend I would eat healthy and urge you to eat healthy as well(like a salad)
and each of us would pay for his own meal.
It sounds like your “friends” were just looking to take advantage of you
and not true friends.

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Thanks, @Erez_Shmerling

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The only positive is I have much individuality. But I have a lot of other holes that come along with it. I think I am fairly unique, and I think my background tells the tale as how I came to become unique, there is more to it than just a background but maybe that was the reason I am and feel different from everyone. Like putting bumper stickers on my car is a unique thing to do. But I think it has to do with feeling different so I want people to notice I am different. And I am attracted to unique people. I am just like everyone else on earth where parts of my personality are stolen from other people, but there is also a lot of individuality there.

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