Growing up I’m like 8 different heritages, 4 different religions which I identify with none of them,…used to be atheist now Taoist but genetically theres 3-4 religions in my blood that are not either of those. my family all poor except my dad and his dad cuz theyre smart business men…I never was smart.
So I live in nice town and stuff but trust different people than what most my peers did… my trust backfired eventually. Didn’t ever feel a part of any group of people. Never did!!! In a world where people stick together there was no one I can say I’m a part of. It’s better in the long term but made life difficult growing up. My parents conservative , me going back and forth politically but ultimately liberal/libertarian. I never felt I belong anywhere. Confusing time. I almost like that being sz I can belong amongst other szs. Even if it is more difficult than belonging with other groups…
I was always way different. My best friend was from Australia because he was different. My other best friend tons of domestic problems. Because he was different. I always hung with outcasted people. But it only made me more outcasted and eventually was outcasted by the outcasts.
My cousin suffered the same fate I feel as I did very similar but parallel story. He has issues now too… so does his brother.
Where do I belong? With the recovering addicts and szs I say!! But associating with that group just separates me further and further from other groups. Oh well.
I never really fit in either. I had a group of friends but I always sort of just went along with their plans. I look back on it and I don’t think anyone actually cared if I was there or not. I still have friendships with my high school friends though so that says something. I don’t know, some days fitting in doesn’t even sound appealing anyway. You’re better off hanging out with Don Juan.
I think this is a problem many with mental illness share, and your background just emphasizes it. When I was 8 I started realizing that I was different from other kids.
I get where you’re coming from John. I’ve had few friends in life. Some of my last friends I had who were a couple on welfare, I think they were just using me to have someone pay for them to eat out once a week. They would insist on buying huge amounts of food and restrict what we could eat so they could take enough for a full meal home. When I said I can’t eat pizza anymore (Celiac disease) but I could have a beverage or salad instead, that’s when they stopped hanging out with me.
@IndustrialLad I am sorry you had such a bad experience.
If I were your friend I would eat healthy and urge you to eat healthy as well(like a salad)
and each of us would pay for his own meal.
It sounds like your “friends” were just looking to take advantage of you
and not true friends.
The only positive is I have much individuality. But I have a lot of other holes that come along with it. I think I am fairly unique, and I think my background tells the tale as how I came to become unique, there is more to it than just a background but maybe that was the reason I am and feel different from everyone. Like putting bumper stickers on my car is a unique thing to do. But I think it has to do with feeling different so I want people to notice I am different. And I am attracted to unique people. I am just like everyone else on earth where parts of my personality are stolen from other people, but there is also a lot of individuality there.