A Tired Illusion Drowns in the Night

I just had a revelation: the 20yo chick I lost my virginity to knew there was something different about me and fled our liaisons. It happened 31 years ago. I was 20yo as well. Man, I never wanted to know it wasn’t a real thing… but tonight I’m brave enough to face it. This woman was a very good-looking fine arts major. 5’2", black wiry hair and green eyes. Nice body. I was her mercy mission of a few weeks, then she packed up and took off for her parents’ home 120 miles away. I was so desperate to keep her, when in fact I never had her. So okay: no regrets now. Next time, the truth of my sz will be known, and if a woman is interested, then so be it. Indeed, there’s a woman I run into on Sundays who gives me the eye now and then. I will take what I can get. For me, the meaning of “hope” is the love of a good woman. I think I’m getting closer to actualizing the good life. If I do the right dance…


Never underestimate a lady! It’s something I’ve learned from a few years on this planet!

I always struggled with insidious paranoia. My mind would find ways to sabotage my relationships with women. It took medications to even me out and wasn’t that a revelation!

I can appreciate your post. It’s always good to get to a point where the past isn’t a drag on your life. It’s an opening of experience which isn’t negative…it’s a positive! I’m all for that!

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There is indeed power in positive thinking. Thanks a lot for reading, @rogueone.

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I had no idea men thought this way.

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I would be interested to hear your perspective?

Mine? I was a hopeless romantic. In college I wanted to be swept off my feet. I was in love with an opionated Spaniard. He was a true blue friend. Had a sweet demeanor but I subconsciously felt I wasn’t good enough for him. He was surrounded by beautiful women

I thought I wasn’t pretty or intelligent enough for him

My perspective? I grew up thinking that men only cared about sex. What else? Women don’t care as much about looks. Is a man kind? Is he funny?

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Peter Gabriel:

Show me round your fruit cage
For I will be your honeybee…
…honey sweet as can be

That’s sort of how men think.

So men want to take care of women? To be sweet to her?

Mm, the song is called “Sledgehammer.” 1986 hit. Want me to fish it up from YouTube?

It’s easy to generalize about the sexes. I’d much rather a good conversation. You have to be a lady who can talk a good game. You don’t have to be clever, but socially functional. That is just me!

Men aren’t always pigs…but that is the way to bet! :slight_smile:

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I remember Peter Gabriel. I was 10 when that song came out. So like in the song: "I will be your sledgehammer ". I’m sorry I don’t get the metaphor.

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Try watching Gabriel’s pelvic thrusts when he performs the song live.

B4 sza I was very articulate not clever but articulate yet shy.

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Shy is cute. Articulate is good. Weakness can be strengths in attraction. If you know what you like and what your looking for then that helps. Humans are all different but we follow certain behaviors! Talking is great! It makes a difference and leads to better relationships!

P.s. @Borath good luck with your lady friend! Beginnings are such delicate times in relationships but if you start with a good game it can make all the difference!

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And if she has big boobs stare straight into her eyes so you don’t get distracted

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Well, she knows I’m alive, at least. She’s not a lady friend quite yet, but I’m gathering information.

Mate. Great things start from smaller moments!

Hope it all goes well. Love is an adventure. If your still in the adventure 50 years in you’ve hit the jackpot!

Good luck in your dealings and more power to you!

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haha. I do like boobies but I’m a man’s man. If you mention boobies I’m a two year old kid!

Seriously. Eye contact for schizophrenics is good. We often don’t do that and it’s something known. It can make a difference and I make a mental note to do it more. I am a social animal though. Interaction is learned and something your practice contantly!

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I watched on YouTube. It’s about sex right?

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