A Sad Reality For Too Many Men With Schizophrenia

Most men with schizophrenia in my home town are in group homes, nursing homes, or jail. I met another man with schizophrenia at this apartment building who also has had a bad porn habit. It was sad to watch him try to hit on the prettier women in the building because all of them know that any man here is a guy with little cash flow and know better than to mess with us. Most women who leave this apartment building do so because a man with the means to married them and took them to a better part of town. We are kept in this trap by the laws of SSI which are designed so a man who is too successful at working loses his SSI and ends up not being able to afford his meds often which threatens to make his homeless since she then loses his ability to function. They call it work incentives. I don’t see any incentive in that. So it’s a hopeless dead end situation where your social life is dead, you have no incentive to work, and you are lucky if you fix your own meals, and have a roof over your head unless you are one of the lucky ones with a milder illness or a one episode event. Men will take care of a pretty woman very often even if she has few to no job skills or is disabled but the opposite almost never happens. Most of the people who stay homeless in my town are men. I wonder how many of them have schizophrenia. Most women who are similarly affected get a lot more help when they have a child even if they don’t take good care of it. Women come out better with this disease and I think part of the reason is because how they are treated by society.

I know quite a few marriages where the woman carries the financial burden.

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I think you saying that is a tribute to how women in power are revered as a good person in a general way.

How does the guy keep them happy?

I feel like no chances I’ll find a girl that will put up with my problems . its usually the root of my depression and suicidal ideals

Same here huckfinn. Maybe I just don’t understand women or what they want, but even if I did I can’t imagine any would put up with me for long.

I wonder whether women tend to do better because they get ill with psychosis at a later age. Getting ill in your late teens/early 20s as men often do you often have not picked up any independent life skills before your illness strikes.
With women a greater degree of life skills related to independent living are often picked up before the illness strikes.
I think this is a greater factor than any favouritism being shown to women when it comes to having a psychotic illness.
I started getting overtly ill at 13/14 but didn’t see a pdoc until I was nearly 17. First admission was at 18,33 . I had no independent life skills when the illness struck . I lived at home till I was 24 and my parents did everything. I wonder how often this occurs with patients who live with their parents that they,the parents, fail to prepare them for the future possibility of independent living.
When I left hospital 2 years later at the age of 26 with my wife I had no independent living skills beyond that of being able to make a few simple cakes. The next few years were a learning curve. Over time I have learned skills but still have difficulties in certain areas. For example I manage finances ok but if there was a change in the process of doing things I would get flustered. When it comes to keeping a flat clean and tidy and well organised on the other hand I struggle. I have a mixed record when it comes to the activities of daily living required for independent living.
I do wonder if this is an area ,irrespective of start of illness, that men struggle with more.

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[quote=“firemonkey, post:7, topic:45212”]Over time I have learned skills but still have difficulties in certain areas. For example I manage finances ok but if there was a change in the process of doing things I would get flustered. When it comes to keeping a flat clean and tidy and well organised on the other hand I struggle. I have a mixed record when it comes to the activities of daily living required for independent living.

[quote=“firemonkey, post:7, topic:45212”]
I do wonder if this is an area ,irrespective of start of illness, that men struggle with more.
[/quote

The description of your history pretty much could have written by me including age (s) of onset. I did know how to do a few things when I moved away from my parents at 55 or so.

I think you’re maybe right about the age of onset.

hey,

yeah social security is shite but that is a different issue.

Statistically women may get it later but get it worse. I don’t think anyone who develops schizophrenia does well.

Yeah it’s tough if you don’t have family. It’s a no brainer but there’s just as many marginalised folks out there.

I live with my parents and I’m 45. I have a great life with me and the cat. But…maybye if I had to I could survive out there like I’ve done in the past.

It’s hard but it’s doable. Regret is a useless emotion. It helps no one. If you want to improve your station then that is a problem worth dealing with. Not regret!

A friend ,

Rogueone.

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I’ve learned that when I am on the street it is best for me to stay away from the other homeless people. It’s best to stay up in the neighborhoods and watch what I do so I don’t get on people’s nerves.

I think that you are right @firemonkey, females tend to get hit with schizophrenia later in life, so lots of them have picked up life skills by then.

Men tend to get hit with schizophrenia earlier - late teens, early 20s, so it’s different for them usually.

For me, part of what I had to go through I brought on myself through self-hatred and some of my actions. No, I will admit, I did not have good parents and it would have been better if they had let me recover from my first hospitalization. As for the illness, it just needed a trigger.

By being a house husband.

Me, too. I’m 39.