Schizophrenia.com

A robot, maybe someone can relate

For the last two years, this year even more, i feel like a robot, or a soulless mechanism.
Doing things only because they have to be done.
Like,
Eat, sleep, **** √ check
House work √ check
Parenting √ check
school work √ check

Hey let’s go out, its Friday and it’s a rule, you have to feel good. Okay, i will go out and smile, just counting hours until I’m back home and cry.
Oh i forgot, stupid Zoloft won’t let me cry
anymore.

Only thing i care for is how to serve people so everyone’s happy. A robot.
And if people aren’t satisfied and they yell, robot feels like his system should be shut down.

I prefer feeling comfortably numb.

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I’m sorry. I’ve been feeling like a robot for the past 2 years also. Honestly if I have motivation, I wouldn’t mind. You just need to push yourself a little bit. At least you have emotions and you can cry. I haven’t cried in a really long time.

Maybe if you focus on realizing a dream, it could give you some positive emotions? or if you focus on achieving small goals? Can you think of what used to make you happy before this?

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Yeah, I can’t cry either

I cant cry and i don’t dream.
Like, I’m not really depressed, i can mildly function and pretty good cover myself, but i really don’t want anything.
You know, like wanting something from the hearth and feeling it and enjoying it.

Maybe you should make some time for yourself. Go on a date or something. Go out to eat, or to a movie. People shouldn’t begrudge you making a little time for yourself.

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Do you exercise? Swimming helped me a lot on those issues

And I’m pathologically depend on reactions and demanding of other people.
Like i need others to approve my existence.

@crimby i don’t want anything for myself. Just…odd :confused:

Nope. My life style is :wc:

You should try and do some exercise, it really helps

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I feel like the old me died. In some ways I did. I’ve been sitting here for a few hours now, it’s pretty, uh, depressing.

Just don’t give up. You said you’re a parent? Your kids need you.

I am just a sick dog, no one needs me, I am a big scary problem. I still find reasons to keep going. Sometimes I just laugh at how ■■■■■■ up life is.

I am so paranoid that my personal self has been robbed from me. The Japanese say that every person has three faces: the one they show the world, the one they show loved ones, and the one they show no one. I always feel like I am being watched, and in public I see and hear people talk about me as if they do watch me–the Truman Show delusion. I do not have a face I show no one; everyone sees it.

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Exactly. I was so different two or three years ago. It feels just like that: dead inside.

And, i have one kid. One kid, I’m done, thanks.

One kid is nothing to take lightly-- I have none and probably will never have any. I’m actually a little jealous.

I feel dead inside - not a lot of emotions - no mania, depression - this is probably a good thing in a way.

I dont need the added drama - this means that the meds I am on are doing their job.

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Yeah, his grandpa had sz and I’m crazy myself. And he grows without father figure.
Just “perfect”.

It’s like floating in the vacuum.
I can’t see beyond today.

Maybe you are a bit depressed @Sarad

Dysthymia has a number of typical characteristics: low energy and drive, low self-esteem, and a low capacity for pleasure in everyday life. Mild degrees of dysthymia may result in people withdrawing from stress and avoiding opportunities for failure. In more severe cases of dysthymia, people may even withdraw from daily activities.They will usually find little pleasure in usual activities and pastimes. Diagnosis of dysthymia can be difficult because of the subtle nature of the symptoms and patients can often hide them in social situations, making it challenging for others to detect symptoms. Additionally, dysthymia often occurs at the same time as other psychological disorders, which adds a level of complexity in determining the presence of dysthymia, particularly because there is often an overlap in the symptoms of disorders.There is a high incidence of comorbid illness in those with dysthymia. Suicidal behavior is also a particular problem with persons with dysthymia. It is vital to look for signs of major depression, panic disorder, generalised anxiety disorder, alcohol and substance misuse and personality disorder.

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Routines are good for people with schizophrenia, of course these routines may feel robotic but at least n this way we can be in control.

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I used to hate routine, now I cant really cope without it.