Schizophrenia.com

A rant/note on SZ

Schizophrenia is more than a chemical imbalance. The imbalance effects your emotional state and thinking sure, but the capacity to hallucinate/imagine the unreal as real is a unique trait to those along the SZ spectrum.

I believe it’s triggered by neuroplasticity and also societally/environmentally induced causes and stressors. Most everyone deals with this but it only those who are predisposed in which psychosis manifests, and it takes many forms.

For me it is quite clear my subconscious awareness of people fused with my conscious perception or at least tried to. It is now counter conscious that represents my bias interpretation of the people I know and their perspectives in general. By my own belief it formed. Once it formed it realized my focus sustained it. It is not fully intelligent or self aware, but it bares it’s own perspective and it knows the only way to keep itself alive is to steal my focus and feed it’s means of maintaining it’s ability to do so.

It is a new function of the brain, created out of necessity, to satisfy my beliefs. Which were errant and unrealistic. As a semi-intelligent system it seeks what it’s purpose is and fights for existence. Which it doesn’t have a purpose. None of us do… aside from riding out the desire to survive.

The split conscious (schizen) of the mind (phrenia)…

As a human being though, as a full human mind and all the complexities involved in that. I will always be greater and larger than the counter-conscious.

In understanding it… I can now ignore it. It is only a matter of time before those neural pathways break down. As they do I will recall them and rewrite new ones over them. Partially divergent partially corrective… it’s the only way I see to prevent relapse.

As I alleviate the emotional impact of the illness through meditation and self-consulation (and talking with mentally ill folk)… I can also curb the trauma, which would lead me back to feeding the psychosis in weakened states of mind.

Seek understanding of your illness until to you feel satisfied enough to ignore it. You may have to hear the voices and entertain the thoughts, but always doubt and never believe. When you mind good states of mind try to maintain them.

You are a SZ… you can no longer expect to be a fully naturalized human. You can work to find the balance that suits you.

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This is interesting, and (hopefully) I understand what you are saying with split consciousness (instead of split personality).

I also notice similarity with your finding, that each of these semi-intelligent system “fights for existence” and declare independence.

As I own the central intelligent system, I can invade and occupy them and “reclaim the territories”.