I can’t just ever catch a break from arguing with my mom. I come home and ask her a basic question and she berates and screams at me, :. I just got home from buying things she needed and she just chews me out. I don’t know, im just tired and want to rest :l, feels like im just unlovable and no matter what i do im always wrong,.
Your mother sounds abusive, not that im saying shes a bad person.
I don’t know, i never really looked at it that way. I usually don’t make a post about my mom, but this time, im just really tired and stressed.
I’m sorry @Waffles . That hurts a lot. Can you talk to your mom in a calm way and explain why your feelings are hurt?
I tried, but she just stone walls me and leaves the convo. no reasoning with the unreasonable. But i think i’ll just keep my distance with her.
You might be unloved but you’re not unlovable. You need companionship not criticism.
My mum is like that. I live away from the family home now and that’s what’s changed things. Some people need to be kept at a distance otherwise they take all their negativity out on you. As an Sz person we’re vulnerable to being used as emotional punch bags in my experience because we’re cognitively “slow” and don’t stand up for the ourselves when negativity happens, we just let it go on and wait for it to end instead of using energy to project ourselves onto the situation.
Is it possible for you to move into special housing?
Thank you @PinCushion , its nice to be understood and seen as a person not a punching bag.
@AppleKidd I"m really starting to consider moving, but at the moment i have to stabilize myself and find work, so i could have more financial freedom. As a matter of fact my dad and me were thinking of moving out together away from my mom. I agree, we only have so much energy…
I hope it works out for you, moving out does do wonders for your mental health especially if you have at least one person on your side. For me it was a rocky journey, but I at least am starting to feel the benefits eight months later.
I love my mom and dad and they love me, but we couldn’t live together and have much better communication since I moved away to live on my own. We just had a real unhealthy dynamic going when I lived with them. Sometimes love shows better at a distance. Maybe that would be the case for you, too, I don’t know…
Very well said… Thank you all for your input!!!
@AppleKidd I think there is an element of over protection from parents that in some way clipped my wings, but now that i realize this i can work on it.
Yeah i see it as overprotective too, but sometimes it feels alot like emotional abuse but then i have to remember sometimes parents become authoritative because their own parents were super authoritarian
Passing trauma on from generation to generation
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