A bit of a disconnect

Hello all,

I’m new to this site and figured I would introduce myself. I am…or rather was a college student until I became ill a few years ago. Despite being debilitated by my psychosis I still tried to continue with classes. I was doing horribly and wound up losing my scholarship and had to start working to help pay for my tuition. But my folks ran into some trouble and couldn’t help me afford classes anymore so I had to wait and take a class every now and then.

I had a job, but quit because I couldn’t stand the atmosphere. I tried finding another job, but was so overwhelmed by the people that I left and never went back. Shortly afterwards my car got totaled after someone hit me and I couldn’t get around on my own after that. Ever since the accident which was about 5 months ago, I’ve been at home cooped up in my room. I’m also mostly by myself due to my family being out working and such. My folks tell me I need to get back at it, but I’m afraid of getting set off again.

I feel like I’m disconnected from everything. I want to try and be more productive, but my state of mind is really unstable at this point. It takes a lot of concentration to try and keep it together on a daily basis, especially when out and about.

Are there things that help you to stay focused and productive? I’m truly at a loss at how to remedy this. Also I’m sorry for writing so much. I’ve got a lot on my mind.

Hi Focused and productive - I am neither. I’d say having something to do - volunteer, class, job, group at least one day a week has helped me in the past.

Welcome to the forum Djinn.

Hey, don’t feel bad about a long post, I’ve been abusing my friends on this forum for a while with my long post.

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are working hard. You will probably have to start off slow. Are the classes on line you can take? You might be able to talk to the students with disabilities center and apply for financial aid. I didn’t know colleges had this, but I was given this info from a different member of this forum.

They have been very good at the confidentiality. So if you got some financial aid and maybe did one simple online class you still have your mind engaged. You might not be able to just get back at it. But our minds do need some sort of routine. If I’m left with no stimulus and no routine, my head circus takes that as the cue to amp up and play hard.

when I’m busy, my voices quiet down and then I can focus more. I am med compliant. But idle time makes the symptoms worse. Both negative and positive. I have a job, I do live in my own place with my sister, but if I didn’t have any structure in my day, even a little… I’d be in negative symptom so fast.

Good luck and I hope you like the site and find some ideas.

thought i would say hi and don’t be to hard on yourself, or expect to much of your self.
good things will happen for you.
take care