Feel like I’ve accomplished nothing since i got diagnosed.
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It’s been 5 and a half years since my diagnosis. I feel that each year has been better than the last. My journey has taken me from the first year taking shower once a week being an accomplishment and not 5 minutes going by without thinking of suicide; to being able to live on my own, going out and socializing often and enjoying life in general.
I’ve really been debating getting a self-imposed ban from this forum or somehow blocking it. I’ve been coming here from before I was diagnosed. The victim mentality on this board is so prevalent, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen online, and there’s plenty of low consciousness stuff online.
I was really high functioning before my diagnosis, especially for a teenager. I feel my depression was largely caused by coming here(not saying mostly), because you read about people who have no improved for decades, and this board does not have a high success story to “failure” ratio, though there are some success stories here. I felt hopeless and reading posts on here reinforced the belief my life would never resemble what it had been before the diagnosis.
Waiting for a cure is a really passive thing to do, and it’s really common here for people to sort of put their lives on hold waiting for some new med that usually doesn’t pan out. People get addicted to their default state, not just sz people but people in general. I used to do it myself. I don’t think I posted on here much but I had online friends who helped me to “poison drip” myself and I helped them to reinforce their victim mentality also, it’s like an addiction really, I might be wrong but I feel your post is a classic example of this.
It might sound like a crazy thing to say, but often people don’t want to get better, they’re addicted to this low consciousness victim mentality just like people get addicted to junk food, porn, drugs, alcohol etc. You attract not what you want but what you are. Sure, if it was as easy as taking a pill to cure sz, I’m not saying people on here wouldn’t take it, but doing the work to actually get better, that would mean ditching the old paradigm and that’s scary and getting better takes lots of effort.
I am my worst enemy, nobody has sabotaged my life as much as I have and still do; I would say I’m 95 percent responsible for my future and maybe 5 percent will depend on other people aka luck. Luck, because you can’t control others but you can’t control who you choose to associate with, so that’s mostly on me as well. Most people on here seem to focus on what other people have done to them, I always try to focus on how to cut trough the web of lies and limiting beliefs in my head. That’s the reason I’ve gotten the results I have.
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32 years i havent felt in 32 years as good as i do since joing this forum even my voices are telling me im getting better.
5 years and 8 months since my psychotic break.
I’m pulling through this nonsensical Alice and wonderland state of mind, don’t get caught in the push and pull ■■■■■■■■ , rejecting your own nonsensical fight of character/personality (victimizing/rebelling) irrational thinking in your head rather then waking up to sanity and clarity, in which you already think and decide (reason) for yourself.
Kind of believe in your statement @anon32099838
My statement reworded-
I’m pulling through this nonsensical Alice and wonderland state of mind.
don’t get caught in the push and pull ■■■■■■■■ , a nonsensical fight of rejecting your own character/personality (victimizing/rebelling)
In it’s entirety being completely irrational thinking in your head,
While rather you should be waking up to sanity and clarity, in which you already think and decide for yourself.
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I think there is a cure for sz. If you think it up you can achieve it. The voices I’ve learned a technique for identifying them when they happen. For example you hear something you don’t want to hear. If you vibrate whilst hearing it you can trick it into a new thought that you _the voice, are in my head and I can’t do anything about it. Just because a normal person wouldn’t talk that way to you if you were to hear him in any normal circumstance. the vibrations cancel the effect of a normal situation where you would hear what the voice was saying; it over laps. There is solace then with the voices. As for delusions just don’t go with it. if you see it then its safe to say you don’t know reality. they seem to lose focus when you talk to someone. they just do what they were made for. usually supernatural things and isn’t that cool we got a disorder that lets us see into some insane stuff. even if its just a part of it. And that my guy is what I think the voices and delusions are a fixated way of adjusting the current standing that is yours. fixate into life man its a Zoo. just do what you can. Sz isn’t really debilitating only when it occurs but think where you are now. isn’t it better and more complex then just a normal stance in the same situation. Your more in tune. Every sz I think is really smart. Good Luck Kudos
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Well said @anon32099838! You just became a sort of hero to me!
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