$1200 Later: An Observation đź’¸

Hi peeps,

Hope you all are well :dizzy:

Coming down from a hypo/manic episode.

…Spent around $1200 on pointless shiit yet again.

Some of it returnable, some of it not.

Opened two more credit cards within the span of like a month.

Currently on 350mg of Trileptal as a mood stabilizer, but clearly the dose ain’t working right.

Have an appointment with my pdoc on the 19th… That’s the earliest she could squeeze me in.

Mania is not new to me-- I just never knew it was a problem, if that makes sense.

I’ve done a lot of stupid shiit, and have always chalked it up to being young and dumb, and writing off my behavior as immaturity and carelessness.

But now, I’m realizing that yes, I do have a problem.

On the downswing now, and feeling shameful and guilty for my actions.

On the one hand, I have an illness. But on the other, I also have to take personal responsibility for the stupid shiit I’ve done.

It’s like, how does one take responsibility for actions that are out of their control?

You know, during psychosis, we’re so out of it and some of us end up fracturing relationships and doing crazy shiit because we’re not thinking rationally.

And as I’m finding out, with mania, there’s a complete lapse in judgement and serious consequences around every corner.

…Not sure if I know the answer to this conundrum yet.

I suppose the answer is different for everybody-- I think when it all boils down to it, the best we can do is just to try and be decent people.

…It’s something I’m working on.


But hey, on the flipside, now I’ve got $1200 dollar’s worth of useless shiit to my name… So there’s that.

Thanks for reading :dizzy:

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Did you at least compare prices before buying anything?

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Not for anything @Schztuna but Trileptal is usually a weak mood stabilizer.

You might be better off with heavy hitters like Tegretol, Depakote or lithium.

But I understand you are concerned about weight gain.

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Thanks for the advice @Wave :dizzy:

I’m hoping my pdoc will just raise the Trileptal dose and see how that goes.

…Not very keen on the other options, to be honest.

Hope you’re feeling a bit more like yourself after the Lamictal situation :+1:

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Good luck on the 19th. I hope they can help.

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Feeling much better now @Schztuna thanks.
Started to lower the Lamictal dose drastically.
Staying on a low dose of 25mg and she’s raising my Risperdal dose a bit too.

Hopefully the increased Trileptal dose will help you.

Best of luck!

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Thanks @everhopeful :dizzy:

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Glad you’re doing better @Wave :dizzy:

Thank you :+1:

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You figure out which parts you can control and take responsibility for those. Otherwise it doesn’t make sense. Hypomania is not completely uncontrollable, but you can’t take responsibility for behaviors you can’t stop.

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Sorry to hear that I’ve done similar stuff while manic I bought a thousand dollar coffee maker while manic we were able to return it to Amazon but it’s embarrassing it feels good at the time though that’s the most evil part of mania for me is it feels AMAZING the best feeling I’ve ever had by far but then you end up accidentally hurting people emotionally and sometimes physically im not proud of ■■■■ I do while sick but remember your not alone

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Lol i had 4000 like litey two weeks ago im down to like 1500 somehow :joy::joy: i blame abilify. Lkterally dont even know whag i spent it on

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Hi, @Schztuna

I remember going through manic phases like that. I remember feeling like credit cards were meaningless. As in, it didn’t matter how high the bill got. And people just thought mania was one of my default settings. Not that it was a “problem”.

I totally relate to your actions not being your fault, but still being your responsibility, and the shame that goes along with it.

The fact that you wrote this post tells me you’re a very decent person, with good awareness about herself.

Not to tell you what meds to take, but have you tried Lamictal? Practically no side effects.

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Maybe frivolous, but you do seem to have learned some things. Maybe that knowledge can save from future aches. I think that’s how we can take responsibility. Blameless admittance to our actions, followed by working on improving them.

Maybe that’s how we win, to never stop trying to grow.

My condolences on the episode Tuna buddy. I’m glad you’ve got some insight.

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I gave 3500$ to my Mom because I thought I was dying but she pays the rent so I guess it was a good thing is there someone who can manage your money for you while you are going through these episodes?

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I had some hypomania this week and was this close to spending my whole pay cheque on randomness and now I’ve been worrying about managing my finances in the future.

I notice for myself I have big episodes in the thick/beginning of fall… if you can anticipate these episodes, maybe having an action plan for combating the spending might help. I personally got a semi-big purchase off my chest, then gave the rest of my money to my mom to hold onto. I just started a new job and managing $ is a big concern of mine since I don’t want bad shopping habits in the future. It will take some time to work through the problem though so just keep trying/looking for ways.

All the best, take care.
:slightly_smiling_face:

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$1200 is a hefty sum for stupid sh*t but I’ve heard a lot worse. I know a girl in real life that was manic and bought 2 houses.

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Keep fighting!

Your doing a good job! :slightly_smiling_face:

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I used to wake up crazy and say f ive got a whole day to deal with here. Who knows what kind of stuff i will do just because i cant sleep instead. Dont have that problem on meds.

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@Schztuna

To help prevent impulse buying, you want to create a delay in purchasing. Here’s an article that may help:

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Man I blew through $15,000 last time I was psychotic. I totaled my car in the process as well and gave away all my clothes too. It happens. I believe once you get the right meds in place you should be alright. The problem with the illness is that it’s a trial and error process of figuring out the right dosages and the right meds to take. Hang in there.

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