I just realized recently it’s been a decade now of dealing with the demons. I feel utterly exhausted and worn down. I just had vivid nightmares with them in them today, abusing me until I happened to call out to an angel and it came and saved me in the dream. I just feel depressed by the utter mess the decade of abuse has turned me into. I feel like I’m this fragmented shadow of my former self. I’m just barely getting by each day. Doing what I have to do to survive and not much more. But I have no choice but to keep fighting. I keep questioning why me, why does this have to happen to me. Though I know that question is pointless. I’ll just keep trying to do my best, as impossible as it feels most of the time.
Sorry my post is not so positive this time around.
Hi @Anna. I saw demons, too. That was all I ever saw- female demons in the shadows. Now I see shadow men/ figures. But they are sneaky, all up in my peripheral vision, and fast! I feel like I’m losing my mind because I donn’t know if they were really there or not, which makes no sense because I know they aren’t really there! But it’s kinda like, “Hey, did I hallucinate, or was that something else?” It’s driving me bonkers!!! Anyhow, you aren’t alone with the demons. I’ve been there. I tried to low-key question my preacher to see if maybe he’d mention an exorcism, but I’m not Catholic (Ha- Mennonite), and I am not possessed. But I always kinda wondered in the back of my mind if maybe I was a little haunted? Realistically, I knew it was just me seeing things, but even when you have a sort of grip on reality with this disease, it can be hard not to question things.