I was sexually abused as a child and currently have daily tactile hallucinations. I always feel like a ■■■■■ is in my mouth. It controls me. It maked it hard for me to talk and breathe normally. I also feel like theres a ■■■■■ in my rectum moving in me as Im going about my day. Its so uncomfortable. Everyday. Every hour. The ■■■■■ too. Everyday. Every hour. Controlling my actions and everything. Also there are zombies that follow me. I cant see them but I know theyre there. Caressing me, tugging at my clothes, touching nipples, jumping on my back, riding my shoulders, etc. Its absolutely hellish. THIS CANT ALL BE SCHIZOPHRENIA! And even when I recently posted a question about me going to hell it was immediately like by a user in here. Cant be coincidence.
I’m sorry you went through that hell.
I strongly think it’s PTSD.
A good therapist and environment are essential to recovery.
Hope you will feel better soon and get help.
I believe I was sexually abused as well.
As a baby and then raped n penetrated as toddler n stitched together (they are drs) then again around seven years of age.
It was the father I had but who I do not believe is my real father.
When I was raped as toddler a woman held me down out side a zoo so her husband could rape me.
My real father was locked in a gorilla cage at the zoo with other men watching .
I screamed for him and then fainted/passed out.
I have had tactil hallucinations.
Feeling hateful orgasm sex and when I was hearing voices some of the voices were moans.
I hate hearing other people moan.
Every one said it’s not true what I said.
That’s my memory …
I know exactly where youre coming from. The stuff youve experienced are on the same level of the things Ive experienced! I also believe, no better yet, I know I was raped as a baby. By zombies and the people who were supposed to be taking care of me. They would play with anus, feed me semen on a spoon and tease me with food. They would also make loud noises to startle me while I was in my crib. Really loud noises. I was rape pretty frequently by zombies and normal looking people too. Like you up until the age of seven which is when I left Jamaica. Those people down there abused the hell out of me. It was just plain awful to say the least. I had so much powerful and otherworldly stuff happen to me while I was there. It was never ending. I was forced to sit in a corner and eat ■■■■. I was forced to eat with dogs. I was raped by an unknown person next to a river. I bled profusely. And in 2012 which is when I discovered that everyone around was god, I found out that all the food Ive been eating throughout my life has been waste. Anything from zombie blood, zombie c*m to feces, acne, semen, mucus and anything else gross you can imagine. I also have to deal with the psychological stuff these entities do. Its just savant like, not at all human. I dont know how I made it this far in life. Theyve kept me here for 29 years and its been pure hell. I bullied pretty badly in school too. Ive been beaten up so bad that I had to go to the hospital. Thar was in elementary school though. Ive taken a lot of ass whoopings. There just seens to be no end in sight in regards to my suffering. Its like Im going to have to deal with the stuff I dealt with as a child all over again. Right now In getting it from everybody. No matter where I go. Its just everybody. No reprieve. No mercy. I think I might be dead in a few months because I just cant deal with this anymore. Anyways, like you these are my memories. And I havent even said everything. Ive got to be the worst schizophrenic ever.
What medications have you tried? Have any been helpful?
Ive been on everything. I dont have schizophrenia!
Your symptoms are schizophrenia-like. If you don’t think you have it, why are you here?
I dont even ■■■■■■■ know.
I hope you will talk to your doctor and see about a different med or higher dose, because it sounds like you are having a lot of pain from the stuff that is going on.
I’ve hidden this topic as it contains a lot of graphic and nauseating details. I understand that this is troubling you, but I’d appreciate it if you used more palatable descriptions and words. We’ve received several flags and complaints about your posts, so it’s obviously affecting people in a negative way.
I thought this was a site where people could come and express themselves. What am I supposed to say. I understand where youre coming from in regards to the profanity but how else am I supposed to explain my symptoms. And why are my posts being reported. Ive read things that are just as grotesque as mine. Anyway…
It is a place where you can express yourself, but within reasonable limits. You can read about our rules and guidelines here:
If you scroll down a bit, you will see this paragraph:
“Please refrain from using any vulgar language that would offend someone else. Shortcuts to vulgar language does not constitute no swearing.”
As some people have reacted to your language, I thought it best to hide this topic. That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to post about this, I would just ask that you try to use milder words and descriptions. I understand that there’s nothing mild about your experiences, but I think you can find a better way to describe them - one that doesn’t offend people or make them think that you’re a troll.