How intense are your psychotic breaks?
How often do you have them?
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I have only been ill for slightly less than 2 years and I have only been hospitalized 3 times. One of those was for paranoia and the other 2 for psychotic breaks
After never having ever been psychotic in my entire life, I had very sudden onset in June of 2015.
I went dancing down the street convinced the brain controllers were âmakingâ me dance. I even got tired but couldnât stop. I went for hours convinced the whole world was watching. I then left my car in the middle of the road with my cat and keys in it convinced âtheyâ were going to retrieve it. I hopped the fence at my old apartment complex, went in the hot tub in my clothes, got out and went into the cabana soaking wet where I spoke to the camera in foreign languages I donât know and practiced some martial arts that I donât know. I then went outside and tried to get into all the cars convinced one of them was surely a gift to me from the brain controllers. Eventually, I got picked up by the cops (who found my car) where I went to the hospital and sang, did martial arts and spoke in foreign languages convinced all of it was 100% real. After that little check up, I went to the nut house for 3 weeks.
8 months later I had an episode that wasnât so fun. âTheyâ made me point at and poke people at the grocery store until finally being chased out. I came home where âtheyâ (brain controllers) made me scream and crawl terrified (horribly terrified!) under the furniture while yelling "God is bullshyt!! I then became convinced that I had to die where I could then be resurrected and merge with God and reign over the world as itâs Goddess and leader. I cut my wrist and then promptly took all my meds. It didnât kill me. It only killed my motor ability so I flopped like a fish in my own pee for 12 hours banging my head and body on furniture unable to get up. Finally, I was able to crawl onto the bed where I slept for 6 hours before calling an ambulance. While on the psych ward, I was convinced I had another personality who had taken control of me and done all those horrible things. After believing that for a few days, âtheyâ told me I did not have another personality and it was really them just fucking with me.
My third trip was hellish paranoia that I was going to be tortured either by them making me hurt myself, other people hurting me or both.
There ya have it! No hospital trips for over a year but âtheyâ are still there every day. I am just blessed they havenât done anything too awful. They havenât taken control over my body, thank God. No question meds help a LOT. I plan to keep taking them although I hate them as bad as you do
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I had a couple of intense ones. The first one Im sure I had PTSD from it for like a year. Had to do with Jesus taking over my body and mind and commence mayhemâŚ
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All of my psychotic breaks are hellish and intense. I hate all of them.
I think all my, well you call them what you want, but either Iâve picked up the deadâs spirits along the way and they are too comfortable in my house, or
âŚor,
maybe there are some bigger control freaks out there having some fun at my expense.
Either way, Iâve come to terms with the facts that not all of reality, is all that real.
What difference does it make anyway, as long as I behave?
Donât cap my imagination if it ainât hurting anyone-including me?
Should I have said âirritatingâ instead of âhurting?â
right? Thatâs how I feelâŚ
Honestly, my recent psychotic break came on quick and Furious!
I had Zero insight and was becoming a danger towards others.
I was extremely delusional and paranoid.
I was Involuntarily committed for my own good.
Yeah, stay on your meds everyone!
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