Well im the most stable i have been in a good while and ironically its due to weed. Well, not weed, its hemp but it still has thc so whatever. I found out hemp edibles were legal in my state a few weeks ago and discovered they work miracles for my sleep! The vivid and often terrifying dreams i have been plagued with since early childhood? Gone! When i do dream its just normal now. So yeah I’ve just been getting great sleep and as a result my psychosis symptoms have pretty much gone away completely again and they’ve been flared up since i started night shift practically so it makes me really happy. Sleep is just so critical for me and my mental health.
It has also been beneficial for my bladder. Due to this ive actually stopped taking seroquel completely (with doctor blessing) because the edibles are just like a better version of seroquel.
Finally i have also noticed that since starting the edibles regularly my mood has improved drastically. I am generally happy now and my stress levels are down. I find that now when I have a day with nothing going on i dont spend it all miserable that Im not being productive anymore. I just relax. I wasnt able to do that before.
Now what is the catch? There are several. First I gain tolerance to these edibles wicked fast. Each dose lasts me only a few days before i have to increase it for the same effect. Its gotten to where i now have to take a crap ton and even that barely touches me. That i have to take so much is a nuisance because they are extremely expensive. Next, they are seriously effecting my appetite and badly. I can only seem to eat when im high now. If im not high i have no appetite or fill up very quickly or even throw up from eating. But if i dont eat i get so hungry that i get doubled over from the cramps and throw up bile. So right now my eating schedule consists of sporadic weird binges when im high. Final consequence is that if i am ever drug tested i could be in trouble as it is thc. But its legal So im not sure about that. My job doesnt do random drug tests but if i want to apply somewhere else which ive been thinking of it could come up. Its really dumb though, if its legal why even test for it?
So anyways thats my life update, ive become a big stoner. Literally never ever would have thought but here we are. But im happy and doing well!