Update on status

Well…I dont really know how I’m doing these days. Discovered there is a legal form of hemp derived thc available in my state and since then I’ve just been preoccupied with that…it has really phenomenally helped with my sleep…better than any sleep med i have ever been prescribed. My vivid intense and often very disturbing and upsetting dreams are completely gone. In fact now i hardly dream at all and when i do they are just normal dreams. I wake up feeling rested. I am able to get sleep when im off work finally. So thats great thats an awesome benefit.

Unfortunately I fear i have become addicted. Pretty much all i do on my time off now is take the edibles we got. I think it may be because im depressed though. I have no motivation to do anything so why would i sit on the couch depressed and unmotivated unable to do anything when i could be high and euphoric sitting on the couch unable to do anything, you know?

The euphoric feeling is really so nice, but i think it lets me bury my depression instead of actually dealing with it and coping despite it.

In regards to psychosis it does definitely bring out my psychosis when I’m high. For sure. I dont get paranoid or anything but I do become fixated on my delusions, have hallucinations, voices, etc…so user beware.

I am worried i am on a bad path with these edibles. Im worried I’ll use too much and have a psychotic break. Im worried i have an addiction now and I’ll fall behind in life. I’m worried ill get caught on a drug test and have to explain myself. I dont know, so many consequences…but it feels like these edibles are the only thing keeping me sane lately with how burned out at my job I am and just generally miserable I feel. Ugh.

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