Update: Riding the rollercoaster

Doing my once in a while check in. I’ve unfortunately been a hot mess lately (still, lol).

I relapsed on hemp edibles Sept-Oct due to wedding planning stress and have been undergoing withdrawals from that after quitting cold turkey from heavy usage again. I am lucky using them did not make me manic this time.

Due to my continued use of them, I am still unfortunately out of a job as I still cannot pass a drug test. My husband and I have been greatly struggling financially as he does not earn much as he is still starting out in his career, so we mostly rely on my parents (not easy for them either as my Dad recently lost his job) and will be moving back in with them in a couple months. Also due to poor finances I have been unable to afford my regular meds and doctor visits, and have been forced to try to “stretch out” my meds by taking them only every 2 or 3 days, which if you didn’t know is not an effective way to take them at all, and has resulted in me being explosively and tearily moody with frequent mood swings and caused my demon “friends” to reappear. Lovely. I did just work with my doctor to try to find more affordable options, and thank god my husband found a job with actually affordable and decent insurance so hopefully I will return to stability again soon but man are things tough right now. But I am hanging in there and headed in the right direction I think. I’m hopeful. I have plans to go back to school next year once I am clean.

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Sounds like they’re ruining your life. If you can’t quit them would you consider going to narcotics anonymous?

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I have seriously considered that, yes. However I feel so embarassed to go for something like hemp gummies. It’s hardly a hard drug. If there was a group specifically for thc users trying to quit I think I’d be more comfortable.

If I relapse again though I don’t think I’ll have a choice. It has really truly screwed us me ever touching that stuff. If I could go back in time…

I have not used any in 2 weeks now though so knock on wood!!

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That’s good. Just FYI, there’s no shame in going to NA for edibles.

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