Wtf is wrong with me,?

I’ve been yelling and cursing. Am I going through psychosis? Moody.idk what to ask my pdoc. Maybe he’ll increase the perphenazine a little.

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Hey Roxy hope you’re doing okay. Do you have aany other health problems? I’m really surprised to see that you’re having such a hard time even on meds. I’m sure you’ll figure it out don’t lose hope

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I’ve been up to hospital with my dad having lung cancer surgery. He asked me to sneak in two cigarettes. I’m like they’re going to know. I don’t want a fine or banned from hospital

Don’t do it you have to take care of his health

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I’m not. I’m not going back for a while. He tried to break out of the hospital.

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Just got cussed at by a dude outside my window. Got to be careful when leaving apt.

They sit and watch my apt everyday to yell at me. Wonderful which one is gonna hit me first.

If they have any pride, they’re not going to hit a woman. But don’t threaten or bug them too much.

You haven’t talked about your neighbors in a couple days, so I thought you were getting better. If you’re yelling and cussing at people I would think they would cuss and yell back. It does seem like the psychosis has been coming for awhile. The non stop tombstone talk, hit man talk, people sitting outside for over a year watching you, neighbors following you upstairs when they can’t even see you. Considering how long you’ve been thinking this is happening and nothing has happened to you I would have to say you’re in psychosis and a psychotic break could be coming. Hopefully not, but given the fact that you believe it there’s a chance the stress could overcome your body. It seems you may be a little med resistant but I’m not sure what all you’ve tried.
Since you yell and cuss them they are probably saying things back to you and probably think you’re crazy and rightfully so. They too shouldn’t have to live with threatening behavior. However, no one is sitting outside your apartment 24/7 watching you for a year. People have lives and jobs, bills to pay, people to take care of and above all a life of their own that doesn’t revolve around you. Sorry if this sounds harsh it’s not meant to be in a mean tone, but I think you need someone that’s going to be real with you so that you can have a life too! You deserve to be happy and not live in a state of paranoia day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute. It’s going to drive you insane if you choose to believe it’s really happening. Hope your father gets well soon!

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Even if they are harassing I’ve learnt a few things. I have to enjoy my day til they come home.

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How does your bf help you with these constant thoughts you have? It seems from what you say he just tells you it’s not real and then goes about his day. Has he tried to explain the delusions you’re having or is he tired of trying?

Yes he has helped me. He says no one’s yelling at me.

Try recording them with cellphone and play it back to see if you hear the same. There’s apps for that

I got death threatened a moment ago. Shoot her in her head.

I agree with the voice recording. Also if you are being watched all the time like you think go outside and video it right now.

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