For the record that bugged me too (a little) but I know some people have been so suppressed that they need temporary financial support or shelter while they keep themselves distanced from an abusive party.
If only emotional support needed that is best from friends and family while keeping distance but quite a few out there don’t even have reliable friends or family to back them up.
And in the case of many SZ’s - they don’t have friends or family whom take them seriously enough to be much of an emotional backup.
Good on you for getting out of that situation as well as making the effort to realize that your ol’ boy probably had issues himself and forgiving him for his own mental imbalance.
I can’t forgive my mother for what she and her husband said. She doesn’t think that they did wrong. She came here today asking me to let the kid spend a weekend with them and I didn’t let him.
Suffice to stay I feel torn apart and selfish. But I just can’t get over that I would let my kid spend time with people who have such a poor opinion about his mother.
Ok just to clear something up, a couple of people have said they had a problem with me needing my now fiancé’s help to get out of the relationship with my ex. Why is that a problem? I’m not delusional enough to think that a “strong independent woman” mindset is enough to get out of everything. When someone is hitting you and threatening to kill you, it’s extremely hard to get out by yourself. And I couldn’t go to my family because they didn’t know I was dating him and I was terrified of them finding out I lied to them. I wasn’t functioning rationally through the situation. I consider myself to be very strong and independent, but everyone needs help sometimes and sometimes that means, yes, from a man. I have no shame in asking a man to help me when it’s a miracle I realized I even needed help in the first place, so if it bugs you that I needed a man to help me out of a bad situation, it shouldn’t.