Yesterday I called my ex to tell him I wanted him to hear this new song I found. That was a bad idea because it turned into him driving my car to have a video shoot leaving me behind. He saw his friend walking and picked him up too.
I was drunk. We had good conversation, but by the end of the night I realized he is not into me anymore. He was texting another girl like he’s done many times when I was with him. He even said she means a lot to him and it wasn’t even his proposed baby’s mother. I felt so stupid to think he’d be checking for me.
The most he did for me was he made sure I had somewhere to pee because that’s all I really demanded. By the end of the night his friend gave me a little money for gas, but my dumb, overly caring self gave the money to my ex because I know he doesn’t have a job and needs it more than I do. I don’t know if that’s so true though. That’s still no excuse for giving over what was meant fot me, back to him.
His friend also pointed out to me that the guys he was meeting with were rude because they came to my window to talk to my ex and not his. My ex is rude too for that.
I’m a super slow learner because I keep allowing him, who don’t do nothing for me in my life, back in. I started with a full tank of gas and left on 3/4ths of the tank full.
I think I’m going to just go fill my tank back up.
Lord, forgive me for my sins. Please send me people that love me for me that are fair. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
And my mother is now crying because she doesn’t want me seeing him anymore.
