My comments are more directed towards your enema, anal sex and sf posts.
lol yeah but my last post was about my military mindset and not about my bisexuality. It was my secret to how I am so highly functioning and I think the f-word shouldnt be an automatic post killer. I said a whole lot of heartfelt stuff in that post and took an hour to write it. It was very positive and all about recovery, better than the random crap and complaining I hear on these forums.
1 Like
Personally more and more I do not read your posts. Regardless of whatever good is in them they seem more about ego and defiance then anything else. So many have tried to nicely explain that although we want you here we do not appreciate the constant swearing, etc. Your posts are being flagged by numerous members as being inappropriate. You are no better then or more recovered then these members yet you keep implying that you should be able to continue posting in such a matter because you think that you are. Swear and swagger all you want with your gym buddies. Here on the forum it should not be to much to ask to expect that you conduct yourself with a certain amount of control and respect when possible. I would imagine most people here on the forum are well aware of how messed up SZ is since they too are living with it every day yet they do not feel the need to emphasize this in nearly every post by the use of swearing.
You are going through a tough time with respect to your sexual orientation. Iām sure most are more then happy to help you through this however the bragging and nitty gritty details Iām sure would be better served on a forum geared towards this topic. I havenāt looked but Iām guessing there are lots of them out there.
Iām sorry if Iām being harsh. I actually like you and you remind me a lot of my son. He has the same defiant attitude when he is not doing as good as he thinks he is. It is your choice to decide if you want to heed some of the advise that some members have nicely been trying to tell you or if you want to continue being defiant and justify an attitude that perhaps should not be justified.
7 Likes
Thats just not true. My doctors say I am recovered as possible and the highest functioning schizophrenic they have seen. I am on a full academic scholarship and have made straight Aās since I got on meds and am a competitive athlete. Thats higher functioning than most normal peopleā¦
I just want to share because I am recovered and only I know if I am recovered- I was the one who heard voices all day, was delusional all day and drinking a bottle of whiskey every day a year ago.
I try to help people get to where I am, functioning more highly than they ever thought was possible. I never thought I would be able to lift hundreds of pounds repetitively at 5ā7 170lbs or go to school for free, take honors classes and make perfect grades. Its a dream come true to me and I want to show other people the steps I took to get here.
Im not trying to argue but I think most of the people on here arent very highly functioning or recovered and I am. Sure, there are some, CarolineC is on par with me, she made straight Aās and has negligible symptoms like I do, nick77 is employed, takes classes and is med compliant and too, surprisedj is med compliant and has a job and takes classes, I could name a few more, but to have never been hospitalized for more than 8 hours, to have never made less than a B in the honors program at school and stay in shape while unmedicated (albeit drinking every night) and then get off booze and on meds and recover to where I am a high-ranked powerlifter and in the top 10% of my class at a university is just a fact.
And having an ego is how I made it. I told myself I was stronger than schizophrenia and I still do. My doctors told me when I was diagnosed and tell me now that my ego is remarkably strong. Thatās a good thing. Without an ego, people do not achieve much or sometimes even think that their life is not worth keeping.
Im not sure what you mean by defiance. Do you mean defying schizophrenia from controlling me? Because I will do that no matter what Albert Einstein says, I know it for a fact to be the reason I am not dead right now.
1 Like
What exactly are you recovering from?
All kidding aside, itās good that you havenāt experienced much of what many schizophrenics have had to deal with. Many suffer terribly in hospitals, on the streets, and in group homes. College will forever be out of reach for many who have sz.
Keep up the good work.
7 Likes
Thanksā¦like my post that got deleted said, I was raised as a military brat. I didnt accept failure, I belonged in a mental hospital but I managed to function somehow. It was fortunate that I already had an abnormal level of discipline and ambition when schizophrenia struck me. I kept it together somehow. But rest assured, I was told I would have been committed if it werent for being in shape, trained in Krav Maga and very dangerous. My parents told me all of this when I came to sanity on meds.
I liked the x better too.
Yeah, sorry if I influenced you to change it. Whatever you end up doing is fine by me.
naw, wasnāt you Nick. I logged off on my iPad and could not remember my password. My email account password wouldnāt let me in to change it, so I ended up making a new account.
Itās funny how we assume things isnāt it? I was feeling like an idiot because I thought I bugged you into changing it, lol.
1 Like
As a āhigh functioningā person with schizophrenia you should be aware when your behaviour is offending/upsetting others . However i see no signs of this. Itās good you are doing well academically but that is not the only measure of how well a person is doing. Have some consideration for those of us who donāt want to read expletive laden gratuitous post after expletive laden,gratuitous post.
Even if you have a positive story to tell the message is lost with the incessant swear words and obvious desire to shock.
7 Likes
I think itās understandable not to post swear words. I accidentally wrote one and immediately realized it and removed the offensive word. People are sensitive. Keep expressing yourself and good luck on your journey of recovery.
2 Likes
Iām glad you take pride in your accomplishments, and youāve worked hard for what youāve got. But in my mind, overcoming this takes support, not competition. Not everyone is in your shoes. We all have to walk our own path to get through our own forest.
10 Likes
Well said, it is not a point scoring contest but a place of help and support. There will always be those who are naturally equipped to do better with their mental illness. Instead of bragging/looking down on others they should be grateful for their relative good fortune and have consideration for those less fortunate.
6 Likes
Well I am one of these extreme people you see youtube videos about. My sport is very extreme and the people I surround myself with are more intense than I am. I like all-male competitive environments. It works for me, I am beginning to understand that it not only works only for me but others cannot stomach it, which is something I need to work on.
But swearing doesnt mean I am less recovered, its a personality trait. I am working on the swearing.
I dont mean to brag or put down others, my original post was simply to share my point of view- a successful point of view. I am lucky to have been raised a military brat and have been named after a lieutenant who went on to be a very successful surgeon, my grandfather. I just wanted to share how I see schizophrenia, not put people down.
But some people do not take the right steps, we all know that insight and medication compliance is necessary and we all must do those steps if we hope to get better. Sure I was talking down to them. Thats actually support, its called a pep talk. Lifters do that same thing when you are doing something wrong, they tell you how it is and throw cuss words in, all just to make sure that you do an exercise correctly without getting hurt.
I am just a very different and rather intense person, I dont mean to offend but I am learning what is offensive.
Agreed. I have a very unusual approach to schizophrenia. I choose to compete with normal people for scholarships and entry to graduate programs and for the highest GPA I can get, I am also a competitive powerlifter, I find reason to live in these competitive activitites.
I am a competitive person. its part of who I am. I understand that my personality type, ENTJ some days INTJ is known for being supremely competitive and goal oriented. I just want to share what works for me- schizophrenia doesnt impact my life anymore, my life is normal and schizophrenia is basically a thing of the past, save for one bad day every once in a while.
I just wanted to be perfectly honest about how I am successful despite being diagnosed- we are all diagnosed and not everyone here is fulfilling their dreams, so I felt like I should share how I do.
If I want something, I do it. Thats a competitve personality. In the gym, if I tell the spotters āI want five repsā they say āthen do five ****ing reps" and the spotter behind me will always say something encouraging like "get this ****, youre done ****ing around, lets goā
Its extreme. It works for me but not everyone. But it has saved my life and thats worth sharing, period.
Iāve met someone just like yo mortimer, he was a heavy ghb user, lsd, pot smoker. big into lifting and though his ā ā ā ā didnāt stink either.
heās now fifty+, admitted cocaine addiction recovery. signs up for body building competitions, senior division.
well I smoke cigarettes but lay off all of that other manureā¦im a straight edge save for cigs and caffeine. I had two drinks on my 21st birthday and they made me feel funny and so Im not drinking at all. And my favorite drink is 10 bucks at a bar! Such bull manure
But trust me my ā ā ā ā stinks 
thatās good to know, stay away from the ghb, he claimed it wasnāt addictive, but it is. he used to mix it himself at his house, itās really floor cleaner, and I understand some think its a somewhat natural hormone to build bulky muscles.
stay away from it, since you sound just like him, euphorically bragging upon your accomplishments, I have been assuming you a ghb user. its bad stuff, stay away from it.