I feel like my meds aren’t working well. I’m wondering if when your meds weren’t controlling your symptoms, your past memories seem distorted? Or previous places you’d been seem distorted? I don’t know if that makes sense, curious if it happened to anyone else
I felt more lucid than ever during heavy psychosis. Couldn’t tell the difference between memory/dream/illusion, lost sense of anything tangible.
Sometimes It can get confusing. Worth talking about.
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If I can ask, did meds help with that?
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I have borderline false memories when I’m off meds
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I have a hard time distinguishing between dreams and reality
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They did, very much so.
It took me a few years of trial and error to find meds that work well for me.
It didn’t take them away completely, but they helped a lot.
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Was it distressing to you?
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Oh of course. It left me believing some pretty wild things.
Scary as it was, being open and honest with my mental health team.
I tried for years to handle it on my own, didn’t work out.
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I’m working really hard to do this. It’s tough
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It is. It’s part of facing the illness, I’ve found.
Not only just with the mental health team, but open honesty with ourselves. Having to untangle the mess it leaves is hard work.
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For me memories are distorted during psychosis and everything is dreamlike.
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@leaf Can I ask how your memories are distorted during psychosis?
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one time I was having a medical procedure done and I went massively psychotic and I saw blood everywhere. It was covering everything. When I think back on that day I remember the blood. One time I was psychotic and I went for a walk and I was in the parking lot of my apartment complex in a rainstorm but I remember it as a river with trees on either side filled with snakes. There are other smaller distortions but those are the biggest ones.
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Wow, would you ever experience ordinary places like the grocery store seeming unfamiliar and dreamlike almost?
I definitely experience a dreamlike sensation. It’s like I can’t wake up and nothing seems right or real. Things are slightly askew. People walk around like everything is fine and normal but clearly it’s not. And no one seems to notice that I’ve completely lost my mind. It’s all too much. I just go home and go to bed and don’t get up until I’m made to get up.
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It’s a real challenge to develop insight into this as you have @Ooorgle .
When I first got ill, I forgot all about my prior life. I guess the disease was all I could think of. It took me many months before it came back to me that I once had friends and a life. I was living in a group home going through some bad stuff and schizophrenia consumed me. One day, some of it came to me. I told a doctor a couple years later that it was like having amnesia, he told me that’s common, but I never hear anyone else say it.
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That’s exactly how I feel, did it feel like your prior life almost hadn’t happened?
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Yes, that’s how I felt. It felt like I had been schizophrenic forever.
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Did it feel like you’d never get back to somewhat “normal” in the beginning? If it’s ok to ask, what symptoms did you struggle with the most?