Some assisted living homes offer a lot of support.
Some have inclusions but do not force activities.
If I felt I could not cope…
It is good to know that there are good supported living homes out there.
I do not feel so tough.
Someone said I have skin on my nose .
Not sure if I agree.
My boyfriend gets called out and I am responsible of his dogs and home and my neigher .
I sometimes feel like I can not cope and have panic and worse.
I talk to myself to remind myself what I am doing and I say it’s ok .
Recently I have thought about living in a assisted living home in another state where I grew up .
Possibly NSW or Qld.
But I have my neigher,bf etc
The plan to live together rest of our lives.
Would mean me staying which is da plan.
I am not used to living in this climate with dryness and fires etc and such hot days.
I do love it here though.
I do miss sweet and salt water to take a dip in as it is very healing and peaceful to me.
But there is a lot of beauty here too.
I can not transport myself independently to all places.
I feel afraid.
I moved interstate to be with my bf and moved my neigher here too.
She might be angry cause I moved her from a paradise paddock.
Huge,lush grass and surrounded by horses and people who adore her.
Her new paddock has shade and water and surrounded by other horses in paddocks next to her.
Hope she will make friends n settle in .
N me too.
She seems angry .
Anders took care of me and gave great cuddles.
So what if we did not get jiggy so good.
I was so messed up n apologise as I was not myself.
I hope he knows me so deeply that he knows I was not myself and others were steering me and inside me and I had voices moanes and screams.
He might always be sacred to me and a few others too.
We do not have contact now.
My bf is great but some of his friends are a bit on the horrid side to me and attacked me and hated on me and want look down on me thinking they are superior and I’m just trash…
Some of them were very rude.
They all seem to think I am under their wing and that I am nothing.
So is not the case and they are not to keep disrespecting me.
Not in spirit either.
I sent a Xmas card to a feminist politician and I do think it is important.
My mum adores her.
I told my bf I do not agree with me as woman obeying her man as it can work both ways in cool flow.
He can obey me too.
Help each other out etc
One of his friends is going to sit next to me and direct me how to drive to a town where my psychiatrist appointment is.
I can not drive there by myself yet.
Hopefully soon I will be able to drive there alone.
I still get feelings that I am not always coping.
Specially when there are fires and stuff and I have the dogs to care for.
And when my great man is out.
Last time it flooded I was very good because I shoveled and swept water out of car port and saved house from flooding.
But I love water so maybe that’s why I did well but fire I am afraid of fire and could not cope.
This point in time I am coping well enough.
I manage every day dishes,dinners etc
If I need to go to supported living in future it’s good to know they are there.
It was mentioned I might get a care worker to meet on regular basis.
I hope they understand I can not handle employment.
Last time I was hospitalised because they expected me to do things I was not well enough to do.
Maybe I will be able to get pension and find a place I can volunteer work without paranoia etc against the people there.
Otherwise I could knit a blancet for emergency relief and keep taking care of home,hygiene,cook,dishes etc
The thought to marry my man is there.
I do think of Anders though.
Anders and my man are alike so alike in so many ways.
I would love to have some friends who have the same sense of humour as me.
I do not laugh often.
Even if it was spirit friends that our bodies may not hang out.
I am so grateful for my great boyfriend.
And other things too.
Anyway the homes can be great but some of them might be abusive and steal money etc