Schizophrenia.com

Worried about starting school again

#1

I am 23 years old, suffering from schizoaffective disorder. When I was in school originally I was kicked out due to my symptoms and placed in the hospital. I took some time off in patient and when I was released I started school again.

I’ve been going for 5 semesters now and things are going well. Last semester I even got a 3.94 GPA.

I just always worry that I’m going to fail again. I take my meds most of the time, and I get an injection of invega once a month to help me stay on track even more. I just get these obsessive thoughts about failing. OCD is a dual diagnosis of mine and it’s times like this I see that its’ a problem.

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#2

the thing is you know you have ocd, and you know that they are obsessive thoughts. that is a good thing.
that way you can look logicaly about how you are thinking .
there is no failure in life ,human beings percieve that we fail ! but in my opinion we don’t.
good on you doing school and as long as you work hard, you will get great results.
remember you will have done this having sz, wow, that is an acheivement .
take care

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#3

Don’t underestimate yourself, it is not easy going to school, working, and dealing with a mental illness. You’re doing something not many could accomplish, and you’re doing it well.

Just take it one day at a time. Keep up with your studies and homework.

You’ve done very well so far. You’re going to ace this next semester. :smile:

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#4

Well, I wish you luck. All you can do, is do your best. Hopefully your momentum will help carry you through. It seems like you’re doing fine, just keep doing what you’re doing. If being around people is the problem, and worse comes to worse, you can always take online courses maybe. Worse case scenario: you have to take time off and finish later or drop a few classes. Heck, I started college in 1985 when I was 24, I’m still taking classes for my degree!!

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#5

Congratulations on that last GPA. I know you have it in you to get good grades again.
Fear of failing is sort of common I find. Breathe maybe go to some stress management therapy. What is your class load?

It’s hard going to school and working. It’s hard just going to school.

My sis is not dealing with a mental illness just school and work and she gets panic attacks, hyperventilation attacks and used to have long crying jags in the bath. She began coughing up blood and was unable to keep food down. So due to surgery, had to dial back her class load. School is a hard thing to face.

I too am just starting. But I’m only taking two classes. One on-line and one on campus. The easy one is on campus so I can get used to that idea and the on-line class is a little harder, but I can shut down the computer and walk away when it feels to complicated and stressful.

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#6

Good Luck with college. Im thinking of doing it myself.

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#7

I am very similar. I actually kept my ■■■■ together while I had by break (military discipline, I wanted to join ROTC and was had extreme self-discipline skills) and made a 3.5 that year…It was ugly though, I cut alot of class and was an alcoholic and smoked a pack a day.

Over the summer and fall of last year I got on meds and made a 3.96, and now I am considered to be in remission.

Don’t worry about meds. Take them, I take them, and I do fine, just like you. I also have generalized anxiety disorder, so I tend to worry and ruminate and sometimes wake up in the early morning due to things on my mind.

I suggest that you keep your mind set on the positives; you sound like you are in remission like me, and I remind myself that I am just doing what is appropriate, nothing more and nothing less. School is the best place to be for you right now. When I get fidgety and feel like I want to be somewhere else, I remind myself that school is the best place to be right now.

Don’t let school scare you. It is scary to realize that you are a few pills away from being psychotic…I live with that too.

You will be fine. I also get anxious at the start of semesters but I always finish so strong, I finish my finals early and feel like it was worth it when I walk up to the desk and hand in my exam. Then we get summer or winter breaks, where we are free to do whatever we want!

But I tell myself that doing well in school despite being mentally ill is an awesome accomplishment and that’s how I keep my engines running. I look at it like a challenge.

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#8

Good for you for getting a 3.94 GPA! You can do it again. Just pay attention in class, take good notes, and study hard. I am in school too, and I always worry about failing. It’s that worry that makes me study hard, and take good notes, etc. Sometimes the readings can be hard, so I read them twice, or even three times sometimes. That helps me retain more. I have been diagnosed with chronic paranoid schizophrenia, and I still have to deal with violent intrusive thoughts, even though I am on medication. It’s difficult, but I’m still going to give it a go.

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#9

Thanks for the support everyone! It’s great to hear that so many of us are doing well and succeeding academically while still struggling with our illness.

I’ve had three classes so far and I’m getting excited. It’s starting to really focus in on the field I’m studying. They do seem hard though so I’m stressed out about that. But we’ll see how it goes!

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