I dont know at all what is to feel fine tbh. This worries me… my pdoc said, that my state is chronical, I never had episodes…
But I am a bit desperate… I cant be sure I’ll even survive, cause I cant do my tasks because of my paranoia… I also have all kind of physical sensations in my head every evening, every evening, friends… I get desperate around this, I had enough of my 20 years old isolation, I cant accept a life between 4 walls, while even my ill friends are not like this…
Ok, maybe I turned to develop a psychopathology, but am I on the right path though? One friend finds me better, no matter that I suffer a lot still… my docs said to stop switching meds, that I even took too many aps, which maybe smashed me more than something else… if the meds dont work on months on me, should I continue hoping that I’ll get better with much more time on them?
Anybody else who believes also in a recovery in years, not fastly??? Are there cases who recover in years, not in weeks as my friends???
I pay efforts, dont tell me that I do nothing pls… I guess I shouldn’t stop the zyprexa, even though that I dont feel it?
So yeah, I am stuck in years now… can I get better slowly like this or my docs lie to me speaking about years?
I wonder also why I have this physical sensations in my head still? This should disappear too,no?
Who recovered on years, not in months, with meds? Why my zyprexa doesnt kick me in the head too lol?
I am desperate tonight… those who’ll blame me for a laziness or somethinglike this, pls dont write… if you have been ill since kid, you would know what is this… plus, I really am fighting, I wont justify myself more on that… I suffered too much, that’s all. And I’d wish to know, that the zyprexa is still trying to work and that theres hope there for this med, even after 5 years on it?
Tbh, I cant really accept a total no peace and pleasure anymore… I’ve been there for 20 years, I dont want to die without have known even what is to feel fine… I am so sick, that I never knew what is to feel fine…
If you pay me one dollar per question, I’ll answer (and have an extra hundred bucks to kick around).
I broke my head to write this message while trying to not hurt anyone too… I am desperate after that I knew only the illness since kid 
I cant live like that anymore…
I am obsessed by my illness and it’s not my fault, cause I was alone for 20 years!!!
Is it possible that the zyprexa will help more in the future, even if it seems slow now? That’s my only question… Can it help even after 5 years on it???
One doc used to say, that we dont feel our meds at our worst… maybe I was just quite bad before…
I know that was true in my case, twice.
Not sure. You’re across the Atlantic, so I don’t know how to predict if more Zyprexa or whatever will help. And I’m not a doctor. And I’m not psychic.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of accepting reality, something it seems you’ve yet to do after posting this same question over and over. I think you need to get a therapist if you don’t already have one and start working this stuff out with them.
I’m suffering years later.
So in my opinion, it can take years.
So no friends when it comes up to despair???
I hate the talk docs, before they were only saying to me to act more, lazy bums I’d say… even they dont like me… I am fed up of the psychiatric institution…
Ok, I guess the zyprexa wont help more in fact… now I am angry , but this can be already my bpd character yeah…
You have few life too?
My despair is big in fact, cause I am sick since kid and it’s very hard to never had a life in my 39 years… yeah, sz…
When I am desperate, I see no light at all…
Anyway, it’s a tough illness I know…
But yeah, probably the zyprexa wont work more… I am probably now a psychopath too…
@Anna1 , just know that I am praying for you everyday. God bless.
@Anna1 my heart goes out to you. I was in a very dark place myself for about 10 years, and I can honestly say that the basics are key. Eat well, exercise, and get fresh air even if that means sitting by the window.
Your symptoms won’t disappear right away, but these things are tried-and-true, and benefit anyone. If nothing else, you will be in a better place to deal with it.
Meds are helpful, but they can only do so much for us
Do very small things to help yourself, but do them every day. That’s all I can say. I never found the magic solution , but I have improved tenfold in the last few years
Sending you Positive Energy
Ok, thanks to everyone… And i am sorry if i sound rude or something like this still 
In fact, i lived with internalized anger and irritability for decades, really 
But my pdoc said, that ive turned sick, cause i’ve closed in myself…
Tbh, i felt something ‘‘normal’’ today for a few… It made me think how maybe i was normal years ago, but yeap, ive turned sick and mad Ive abused of weed in total isolation before, maybe this made me worse too… I know, that the weed is not so much responsible, but its bad when you are fragile… Plus i was smoking it in total loneliness, with just the tv as company, this is sickening too…
Ok, i am on zyprexa now, you know it. But its a bit scary, that i should wait here. I cant do nothing else about it, isnt it? Sometimes the recovery is slow and not helped so much by the meds, no? But yeah, the meds maintain me no matter what i can say… Maybe i am hypochondriac and i just want a quick recovery such as my friends… But my illness is different i guess… But yeap, i felt normally today for some half an hour, it gives me hope. But i refuse more meds, its scary this… oh, what is helping me a lot is still the klonopin though, but i should monitor how often i take it too…
Yeah, maybe i was too bad and too alone for too many time, thats why the meds dont work well on me…
This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.