I start to feel well for some five minutes some days (not every day). I am calmer even though, that i can complain. But its sure i am not healthy still… I am almost sure i should remain on zyprexa. Cause not everything is meds in my case unfortunately… But what if my recovery takes many years? I’ll be dead old in a few… I am 37 years old now 
but i wish my well being was more sure, more often… For years my mind was too anxious and paranoid… I lost the ability to talk since a kid this… Now i pay efforts… But i am afraid ill get better once too old…
Now i am sometimes doped, which i didnt feel in the start of the meds, so i guess its a progress. Some other times its better, some others- not so well. But in general, i have some progress. The problem is that i am still sick and crazy… Being ill since kid, does it mean i can put many years to recover? Do the meds work faster once you get better and better? Or its too individual?
I have to recover on the thinking,but on the emotions and the personality too, which makes just a bunch of things … On the body too…
I went out today so i fight, but i got sad that i am at this stage of my life…
Maybe my patience is a good thing?
Just need hope with this post lol 
i miss the life 
9 is too much, fellow… I am afraid about the future… Maybe ill want a family of my own… I cant wait so much, ill be quite old… I wonder that if the meds now will start to work faster now that i am a bit better?.. But maybe my progress is because of my efforts too… The patience is good, but it can make someone lazy… But its not my fault. I am passive because of the illness… I wish i can start to feel the progress faster and faster…
What’s the alternative? I’ve spent plenty of time sick, even if every day is only a small win, it’s a win I’m happy to fight for, for my family, for those I love, and most importantly myself.
It seems long and hard, daunting at times, but living my life sick seems more so.
ive sorta recovered a bit compared to the start of my illness…I actually feel the same way sometimes anna. The time I was diagnosed, I was thinkin bout maymbe settling down…now its been 7 years. Iam grateful for the times im not suffering, of course I would want more or be able to do more. Im gonna try abilify myself very soon. I was on Zyprexa (olanzapine?), I felt fatigue a lot. I overslept as well sometimes. Can u give me an idea how abilify is? Not sure if ive tried it before.
Yeap, there’s no other alternative I guess… I am afraid ill die alone like this, with a lack of pleasure from life… If I get some other illnesses, I wont even have the force to fight against it cause too few motivated to see any other docs…
The problem is that I don’t enjoy the life, so its painful. Its not just to accept the illness, I cant accept the pain I guess…
HI! 
Lots of people say abilify is a very good med, cause it kicks. But I never felt a kick on it, I was just even more paranoid on it. But my mi is such, that I was very, very anxious about almost everything so I stay on the Zyprexa. I spent an year, where I even didn’t feel the Zyprexa and still don’t feel it a lot. My friends doesn’t like it cause they put weight and they sleep a lot on it, but its not my case.
hmm, maymbe we should hang out sometime then anna. In reference to the “enjoying life” part, but I dunno where Balkans is at. Im sure not close to me lol, but I think abilify is suppose to help with anxiety as well? sometimes I would get some heavy anxiety…I hope it doesn’t backfire like it did with you. I guess I have to see the hard way >.<
I struggle with that, on both accounts of thoughts I will die alone, and on the pain.
Dying alone is a fear of mine, Unknown and unloved. I have to remind myself that I can’t predict the future (despite my illness telling me otherwise). I can only enjoy the time I have with those I care for, and will try until I die to keep trying to make new connections with people.
As for the pain, it sucks. Pure and simple it sucks. Pills help, although results vary. Part of me wants to feel this pain is worth it, that something good can come from people, that my suffering with this disease could somehow impact another’s life positively. It’s given me compassion and humility, both of which you need to help others
But then again, I’m a rambling madman, pay me no mind
Its very individual with the meds. Give a try to abilify, my sz friends like it very much. Me, I was very paranoid. I never had good cognitive faculties, so I am afraid now. It seems that abilify is good for the cognitives. But for me I think that theres no pill who will make me smarter, so I don’t take other things than the Zyprexa and Depakote…
@Ooorgle, the pills didn’t take away my pain… But my pain is to worry about the future, which is a bad prognosis for me, so its normal to suffer with all this…
Somebody else here who is worse in the evenings? Me, I am worse… I wonder if its the loneliness this?
Schizoaffective disorder is a lifelong disorder with normal phases in between the high and low phases. The focus, as far as recovery in sza is concerned, is on process, rather than an end result. I say this because it’s inherently a chronic illness with waxing and waning episodes, inter-spread with periods of absolute lucidity and high functionality.
It is very difficult to give a straightforward answer to this question. If by recovery you mean non-recurrence of the episodes, it is almost impossible to give a specific number of years for the duration of remission. I will say this: It all depends on the individual case.
Some of deciding variables will be: family history, age of onset, duration of untreated psychosis, number of episodes so far, medical comorbidity, nature of psychopathology (especially mixed nature of episodes), duration of episodes, association of any head injury or cerebral insult, kind of and number of antipsychotics used in the treatment, personality traits (especially stress coping strategies and if any borderline traits are present). The variables are so many that deriving any straight forward equation is almost impossible.
Ok… My prognosis is bad, cause I am quite inactive still… Just for the info - my illness was never by episodes, its chronic since forever… I never had episodes of high functionality tbh… In fact my current doc thinks about paranoid sz even without negatives, as said it my ex pdoc…
Maybe ill get better faster once I move more? My evenings are lonely and proned to despair… Why the evenings are worse, guys, any idea?
@Anna1,It’s good enough to get up from bed.Next time you feel bad try to take a walk,if it’s only by yourself.It means much.
i have been in recovery for 19 years with no hospital for 22 years i take alot of walks and and talks .
But I guess my isolation from the world for 18 years complicated my recovery? Everybody would have been devastated with this no? The meds help abit, but they cant put me in a recovery state no… I have too many symptoms.
@anon70049667, I was thinking about you precisely with this post… Did you get a good quality of life because of the meds now? How do you feel now? Ill continue fighting, but if i’ll always have symptoms, it wont be a life…
I’ve finally changed my meds from clozapine to risperidone.It works for me.Being on AP for long time without improvement wasn’t good for me.
Do you have symptoms still? Or you just ignore them now and you live?
Less symptoms and other quality of life.Maybe you should consider a med change.I read all your posts and because you are getting better I decided to let you know that I see it now.
You see, that I am better? No, I don’t need a med change, I tried all the other possible aps, really… My pdoc says it can take years to recover. I have borderline traits also I think. No med will change this… Believe me, I really tried every possible ap on the market here…
But do you isolate now or you have people around you?
Do you want to PM you.here says that I’m making to much posts 