I understand that schizophrenia already makes me susceptible to paranoia and big picture thinking.
The mind is like a pattern making machine. We connect patterns to things we do not understand. Logic has helped me overcome some of the worst paranoid delusions I have had, thanks to a patient and understanding father who would help explain both the irrational and beliefs I had rationalized.
I have learned terms like: fixed beliefs, magical thinking, etc. and how the consciousness is still not fully understood. So having schizophrenia does not have to verify there is no external presence of God, or that we carry on after our human bodies are gone. I just hope that we are given the chance to further explore the realms of consciousness and creativity.
Sometimes the best way to overcome a delusion is not to confirm it. Like for instance with Donald Trump he could easily play on peopleās collective fears or thoughts to channel the flow of information.
Not saying what he said was right or wrong, but thats the issue. Society as a whole could have a collective delusion and weād know no different.
Facts are agreed upon evidenceā¦
If I could get rid of my schizophrenia I woudnāt though, because I dont know what it is or what caused it so why take it away before fully understanding those implications. To me schizophrenia is nothing like cancer of the mind. I hope they find a cure for cancer and Im sure they will one day find a cure for schizophrenia that will shed light onto what caused it.
Its so difficult to have beliefs and experiences that dont match with mainstream tropes.
Iām always happy. I havenāt always had insight into illness. I want to know what went wrong that created my existential crisis. It seems that lots of people the so called āINDIGOā children have gone through some type of spiritual crisis, some around 2004-2005. Sometimes I think it was collective will and a combination of spiritual warfare, cults, etc. like I donāt research conspiracy theories I would rather piece together what I have observed and known in my actual real life. I donāt detach and relate to conspiracy theories even when someone could be repeating or confirming my own reality bias. The entire world being perceived through a subjective persona so there is no escaping the mental trappings of the matrix.
The issue is discerning between the madness and the paranormal/quantum and learning to embrace the multi-layered multi-faceted existence of possibly a fifth dimension and that TIME itself is not a path or river flowing in one direction, but more-so time is the ripple effect of actions following a continuum of results, and their effectsā¦chaos also that existence could be thought of as a stack of papers where as different interpretations of the same thing are stacked on top of each other, and each page shows something slightly differentāthere could be infinite levels to reality, meaning parallel worlds would be infinite too. Neat to think about.
Ideas like these are pretty random for me. I came up with the cure for cancer randomly also, and then a few years later read some research that matched up with my random epiphanies.
I want to invent a quantum bitcoin mining computer even though I have no bitcoin. And by the time I do that it will be virtually useless. But I still could patent the design, and then sell it to the highest bidder. And possibly figure out how to replicate something I have seen in my dreams about the future.
My next creative idea could revolutionize time travel: its too far ahead to explain in detail. It involves nano crystalline particles that are blasted into a vacuum where a person is and the person is shield by the particles and also transported through the tunnel like a vapor from dimension to dimension. Its so far ahead though I dont know that science will catch up for me to patent that one.
Still I could use some of my crazy ideas to create something and I know I shouldnt underestimate myself or feel shut down by the people who doubt that I can do this.
I kind of know what you mean. I came up with my own form of therapy when I broke my neck and acquired a brain injury. None of the current forms helped me, so I created my own working with my Neuropsych at the time. Then, 10 years later they came out with the same kind of therapy
Iām fascinated by things like knowing that matter is made up mostly of space. At one time, I seemed close to being able to pass my hand through the wall, it was just a matter of aligning my energy properly
They call it delusion, but I just call it a deeper thought.
Count me in on it. Iāll be one of your earliest investors/supporters. Problem is time travel is dangerous and tricky and all ready done. I should know >_<
It probably comes off as encouraging delusions, but I had dreams where I was in an elevator or platform rising in this pinkish foam or what I felt like was quantum foamā¦probably some nano particle crap now that I think of it. Then I went off the platform and into other places. Strange dreams Iāve been having.
I felt like Iāve done a lot of things. Problem is there is no evidence or proof.
Regarding your matrix comment, I know Iāve escaped. I even felt like I ran part of it-temporarily. It was a hard, learning experience. Felt like Westorld TBH.
I donāt understand the math behind it at all. Looks like Chinese to a failed math major here. But I enjoy the popular side or layman side of it. I have collected some physics books that I plan on reading some day.
Thanks. I was actually planning to finish my four year degree before covid-19 and my scholarships ran out since I canceled that semester, now I have no funds available. So I am not interested in finishing college at this point. I am taking free classes on course-era.org to help keep me somewhat grounded. Software does seem awesome. Actually I have this book about learning to code computers that I should probably read.
There are a lot of options with software and computer science. Some involve Geometry, Physics, etc. but they donāt all require you to be even decent at Math. Software programming is more about Logic and reasoning, and the ability to solve puzzles.
Believe it or not, I was a computer programmer for 10 years. I taught myself how to program, and was able to play in the big leagues for a while before my accident
PERL (Practical Extraction and Reporting Language) for UNIX sysrems management was my first learned language.
I also learn Visual Basic, C, JavaScript and Java, and some C++
I know what you mean. A lot of strange stuff in the future dreams. Shamans call that āDreamwalkingā and new agers call it āastral projectionā while some people will just call it high insight or hyper-intelligence? or maybe just fixation on out there beliefs? Not sure what scientific minded people call that. I think that we all carry some element of the collective consciousness, but are free to participate or pretend it doesnt exist. Like there are people who donāt want to believe in God, and others who do. Just because I believe in God doesnāt mean you have to. Just like you are free to reject my other beliefs and experiences, but I think psychiatry has done too much to call people a label that literally means insane or that what you perceive isnt real.
Some aspects of schizophrenia are delusions and hallucinations. But to the person in the midst of the psychotic episode it feels real to them. Like, a shroom or acid trip, it feels real and the world around us reflects it and then it stops.
The more I think about it the more I wonder if the world itself isnt charged by a secret invisible GRID of ENERGY
Which brings me to my most revealing dream as of late: I followed a girl who said she was leading me to the Tree of Life and Wisdom where all the answers would be. It was in the aftermath of the Pandemic and I was with a group of complete strangers but we called each other Family. It was in some ghetto in LA and I followed her through paths in an endless field until I reached it, and she broke through the electric fence (metaphor for electric boundary/GRIDLINES) ? and I went to the Tree but there was a Shape-Shifting demon Guarding the Tree of Life, I had to show him my true face and it turned out the demon was actually the Girl and she was afraid of her own shadow.
So my theory is that there is an Grid of secret electrical energy and that in order to ascend and be free of the matrix we have to see this Grid for what it is and breakthrough a square or somethingā¦lots of my dreams reference the Matrix more-so than even before seeing the movies. It is what I would call it, but its a frightening subject for anyone who has issues confirming and staying grounded in physical reality, the truth is that the impossible is threatening to people until they do the impossible and its not bad. Think of all the good things this world would be if we could do the impossible.
I have dreams, recall, memories, and experiences of being taken out of the simulation/matrix we live in and running part of it. Like time traveling and typing on a computer on possibly another planet and interacting with folks and interacting with aliens and maybe being an alien. Obviously, the doctors and regular folk are going to assume Iām crazy, but it has given me insights into the universe and nature of time. I felt like I was in anti-de sitter space or the bulk in brane cosmology. The only proof that ET is here is when I was in college (possibly) or definitely in 2016 at home when I saw huge, black and rectangular drones and other ufos/drones and advanced craft fly over my house over the years. Sometimes, it just went over my head/consciousness because I was so numb.
Like stuff I cannot explain is living through real, but different alt worlds or alt realities and history playing out different, like Iām actually living and going to other worlds simultaneously. Itās strange at best.
That I remember the news of the future that it proved to me and I felt āvindicatedā after many years of human civilization finding out we lived in the damn matrix. I donāt remember details, just generalities.
I donāt remember much outside the simulation, except I didnāt have schizophrenia at all and my IQ shot up to 140+.
I was able to see the shape of the universe which I can only guess at best is a Torus or some rotating godel universe which is just something I have thought about recently, but really have no clue on the latter.
Then I realized M theory is true, but the simulators donāt want us knowing. I thought I showed MWT (many worlds theory of quantum mechanics) was true. But since we live in a simulation and reality repeats itself indefinitely and doesnāt branch until after 2013, it makes me think each universe/ācomputerā is deterministic and the collection of which we call multi-verse theory.
I have also thought much but at a superficial level about CCC (conformal cyclic cosmology) and was told I went to the year 3000 AD before so maybe Iāll remember more as time goes on in this life.
I also experienced mind uploading and immortality.