I appreciate reading your frank and honest posts. I value honesty too.
I’m certainly not the brightest here by any lengths but I’m pretty honest
I thought you were a woman by the way 
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He is. He’s a clever girl lol
That was his old tagline
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Darn these moobs…
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LOL, That was the best.
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It’s like everybody’s gender neutral here, I can’t tell who’s who lol
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When I first got Facebook all these people I knew from high school, etc., be like:
YOU’RE MARRIED? TO A WOMAN??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY.
The shame of being the top student in Home Economics.
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I’ve a cousin who loved playing with dolls and pushing them in pram. He grew up to be gay God love him. I’ve nothing against people, everyone is different 
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My two cents is that the beginning of the disease is a critical period. That’s when the disease seems to be worst for people and that’s when you don’t want to give up. I won’t get into my whole story but in those first two years of psychosis I was severely ill. I did not function and I felt hopeless, suicidal and like giving up on a daily basis.
My dad pulled me thought the dark times He kept me going. We used to have long talks and he would tell me I can’t give up. He used to tell me about all the dark times in his life and how he made through them. I got to know him a lot better and he pulled me through with just the sheer force of his will.
Now I’m looking back on being employed for almost 35 years. I have two classes to go for my degree. I lived independently for twenty years. I drive and own my own car. But looking back at the beginning of my disease I couldn’t have predicted I would ever get better or ever do what I’ve done. Looking back at me in those first few years no one would have predicted I would do anything in life. And like @anon82948922 said, I’m not Superman or somebody special. I just always took my medication, cooperated with whoever wanted to help me and didn’t fight the doctors or therapists. Woody Allen once said, “90% of success is just showing up” And that’s what I do very well. I suit up and show up. This is why it’s critical to keep trying in the beginning.Things may look bad or hopeless but you have a shot like everyone else of doing something in life.
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I agree with you on the beginning stages being important; but this illness can be so chaotic that you can’t really blame it all on situations or circumstances. I think there is hope for many especially with advances in medicine. I have lived with it for sixteen years. Learning to write poems, studying at a liberal arts college and at least trying new things–despite the stigma of my secret–all pointed toward success.
People measure success in different ways. I may not be a successful businesswoman yet, I have felt more “spiritual” and whole, I know myself more and I have evolved more over time. The more I practice discernment and grow my mind with education and information the more I grow and evolve. I have not had a return of symptoms yet for a long time, it seems to be getting better every day–as long as I stay in the routine. 10mgs Abilify at night, activity, conversations with loved ones and do my school work I can continue to function at the best I can.
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But @yinyang why are you being naive and take for truth the @anon82948922 word?
No need to get in fight mode, i am not trying to pick a fight velociprator i am trully curios
But afterall first of all you dont know him, you only know what he shares on the forum, you only know his part of the story and how he wants to be seen by others.
@anon82948922 i hope you dont mind, i am just curios why somebody like @yinyang who seems more rational would not be sceptical about the online comunity, in special of the schizoprenic one
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There are users here who are also social media contacts with me outside of this community. I’m not going to out any of them, but if any would like to step forward on their own and verify that what I post here is consistent with what I share elsewhere, they have my permission to.
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Thank you man for not taking it too personal.
I honestly dont care if you are who you say you are.
Im just curios about @yinyang. But no need to answer @yinyang my curiosity will pass
The crucial thing, and I explain this to people who have mental illness, is a relentless belief in the self, a belief in recovery, and the belief that anything is possible.
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I can say that @anon82948922 is exactly who he says he is.
Polite disagreement on this one. All the belief in the world isn’t going to undo the damage to my heart or spine. I’m never running a marathon or power lifting. Irrational beliefs can be harmful. That being said, success is always an option, it just may not be the type of win that you had in mind when you threw your hat in the ring. (I’m good at other things.)
ALSO…
Failing is okay. It’s part of learning how to succeed. Getting over the fear of failing is so important.
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I have had many successes in my life, but also failures as well
There is a virtually 50/50 balance
This is why I have such a hard time of being alive in my head as it’s very confusing for me to process this war
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@anon20787234 being skeptical about someone in an online forum usually starts at the beginning when they are new to the online forum. As time passes, consistency of statements, consistency of claims and either if lies or truths are told will reveal how a person really is.
@anon82948922 has been on the schizophrenia forum as a moderator almost a decade ago if I am not mistaken. I have been on the schizophrenia forum for less than 5 years give or take a few years due to the anonymization of my account.
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I disagree. If you don’t believe that you can recover and live a fulfilling life, then it is not possible.
Positive symptoms are constraints but finding the right combination of medications is a matter of belief. For instance, a lot of folks are content with their lives…they are risk-avoidant because they don’t believe in themselves and in recovery. I am not denigrating anyone, what I mean is that, there are about 20-30 medicines for this illness, with countless more combinations. IF you are passable and you are satisfied with your life, not pushing yourself to do better, then it is in part a lack of belief in yourself.
For instance, I trade stocks. I have to push myself to re-learn math and learn programming in order to become a better trader. You’d think there are no constraints because I am symptom-free…but I have virtually no retention. I cannot learn. Does it mean I give up and not pursue what I desire? Nope…I have to find a way, it is my life, no medicine, doctor ain’t doing it for me…so, I cope, I find ways that work for me.
Major league basball players who hit the ball more than 3 out of 10 times are high ranked (.300+ BA) - think Babe Ruth. The few who bat above .400 (4 hits out of 10 times at bat) like Ted Williams are rare and exceptional. They’re the cream of the cream of the crop.
Look at it like that and 50/50 is phookin’ amazing. You need to be giving yourself more credit, mate.
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