Work makes it harder to not think and dwell on things. I can feel my mood gradually dipping and tanking as I go through the day. Doing my best to stabilize it but its hard to keep myself distracted. Which youd think would be easier to do at work but at home its easier to distract myself and relax. I want to break down and cry
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Why is this so hard? Its been apmost a week and I still feel like I can hardly function. Short bursts at a time I can do but even at home I’m barely productive. Even getting in the shower was hard. The only reason I did was so that I was clean for church.
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It can take time getting used to work. Or you might not be there. Not ready for it.
You had made a post recently. Was it about work as well?
Yeah last friday I was doing a little better at work. Id made it over halfway through the day before I felt the need to go home just due to emotional stability and not able to work effectively. Today doesnt seem to be going as well as friday. I don’t want to leave early agsin today. What if my boss thinks the grieving process is too long? Ive already left early two days.
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Sorry @NeoPolitan02
That’s how it was for me every time I had a job after SZ.
Hope you can power through the dayđź’Ş
Edit- my bad, just read your follow up comment… I imagine it’s hard to work with all that’s been going on 
Still hope you will be able to make it through the day
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Work doesn’t make my illness harder. It’s my illness that makes work so much harder. And even impossible. And that’s not even counting my bad back and knees, hard of hearing, and frequent, daily migraines all of which make working a job impossible.
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It will get easier… I am sorry you are having a hard time and I hope it gets better. I have bad anxiety at work. First couple weeks was okay and then things got weird and I was crying most days in the prayer room. I constantly worry that I am doing things that will make people hate me or that noone really likes me there. These people have been working there a lot longer than I have and they are close and hangout together and stuff. I am new there and I feel like I am doing a horrible job at functioning like a normal person around everyone else. I also feel very incompetent, I am a honors student and because of anxiety I had trouble calculating the amount of hours one shift was, I have a class that day… so that time is taken out. I knew it was seven hours total, but when asked my brain just went to mush… I am super clumsy… my voice is low and sometimes I get looks like I am “special” or just plain stupid. when helping people… I got the same look when I spoke with a rep from Drexel. Some days are okay and some just suck and I get flare ups when I am anxious. But I have to keep pushing because i need to be able to pay for my classes.
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You complained about sleep in that previous thread. Not getting proper sleep makes me neurotic cranky/almost shaky next day. How are you doing in there?
No two days are same. Good days give you hope but blind you to past and future struggles. Similar thing with bad days. You end up thinking this is all what ever will be and get depressed.
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