I’m leaving my husband. He doesn’t seem all that shocked or upset. At first I thought he was in denial. But now I’m thinking he’s happy about it. Why does that hurt so bad? I don’t want it to hurt him, so I should be glad. But I’m sad and I keep breaking down and crying. He’s glad to be rid of me. It makes me feel like it’s true that he never really loved me at all. My heart is breaking.
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I’m sorry @Leaf. The sooner you leave him the better.
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I’m so sorry to hear this, leaf.
Breaking up is hard and grieving is part of the process.
If you feel like crying, cry it out.
Right now just focus on your feelings, not his.
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Sounds like your locus of control is external. You crave validation from other people, be it positive or negative, like your ex being upset over leaving. Just put that locus of control back inside yourself by making yourself feel better with something personal, like a hobby.
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We’re all here for you leafy
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@Leaf
A separation is devastating! There are so many unanswered questions, regrets, broken promises, and unfulfilled dreams. You need to put words to your thoughts and feelings and truly process them. This is beautiful that you recognize these reflections right now! It is a part of healing.
Some Reminders
-You do not know what your husband is thinking and feeling.
-Your identity and personhood are not found in what your husband thinks of you.
-You spent a number of years together. There is a lot to grieve.
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Sometimes what we need to do hurts but that doesn’t make it wrong. I hope this next while gets easier for you as you step forward.
((Hugs))
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cheer up…he is an ■■■■■■■. maybe he planned on making you want to leave him? the conspiracy could be all him…get angry…don’t be hurt…and then get over the anger and feel good about being free.
Maybe you just don’t remember what it’s like to be on your own and it scares you? How long has it been since you were single?
You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to, don’t mean to pry. I’m sure it will all work out, use the forum as much as you need to.
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we’ve been together ten years
Wow so that would be a big life change. You have every right to feel emotional right now.
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Sorry you’re going through that. It’s a terribly painful situation and I hope you have some support from family or friends to help. I never needed my family more than when I went through my divorce.
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I’m sorry you’re going through this. I also went through a divorce. My divorce was only after a four year marriage. I think it gets tougher and tougher the longer it goes.
As far as what is going through your husbands head who knows. He could just be putting on a front acting like it doesn’t bother him. Rest assured though he is surely grieving just like you. It’s important to remember everybody grieves differently.
I like what a previous poster said that his feelings really shouldn’t matter to you. If you are divorcing for good reasons it shouldn’t. I don’t know the whole back story and whom am I to say what are good reasons. I’m just hoping you thought this through really thoroughly.
Any who, I’m thinking about you and hoping it turns out for the best 
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Sorry to hear that,
Many people does not appreciate a jewel like you, let him be in his fake world like many others, he doesn’t deserve you,
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That’s what I’ve been thinking. It could be that he is denying his feelings even to himself. Maybe it will hit him after you have been separated for a couple of months. It does sound like you still have strong feelings for your husband. If you do come back to him, do it in a way that you don’t look weak, but try not to make him resentful in the way you leave him, if you really do want to leave him.
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Hey @Leaf. I’ve been keeping in touch with my ex. I still have feelings and it breaks my heart every thing she does but the reasons I left all those years ago haven’t changed.
It’s sad. I’d like and try to be a friend but I can’t get through to her. I have to give up and what you are doing is something you need to do. I can’t fault that and I admire you for your courage.
It sux. It’s not ideal but do what you need to do for yourself. I got on a plane to travel a world away and it was the best decision I could have made at the time. Keep strong!
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How are you feeling today @Leaf?
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How do you know he’s glad? Unless he says so you don’t know for sure. I’m really sorry you’re hurting like this. I know it goes really deep.
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@FlyingPurplePeopleMeeter and @LilyoftheValley I am feeling better today. Less emotional. I finally got some quality sleep and had a talk with my husband. No, he’s not glad. He just knows me, and knows I’m done. He says he’s lost. I’m sad for him but it made me feel better. Isn’t that sick. He just seems so well adjusted about the whole thing. I think this is going to be good for him too. He spends so much of his energy worrying about me. This will be a fresh start for him too. And I think that’s great. He can focus on doing the things he loves, like fishing and hunting, the things I don’t care for. So yea, I’m feeling better. Thank you both for caring.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve never been in a serious relationship but I do know what a heartbreak feels like and I can only imagine how you must feel in your situation. Sit with your feelings. But don’t let them overpower you. Pray about it. & know that it will get better with time. Sending you love and positive energy.
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