I don’t remember if I have written lately a thread about overeating, but that’s my problem lately, and I seem to be hopeless about it. My life turns around food and my image, really hate that. If I was just overweight I wouldn’t care so much, but I 'm obese, so my worries are justified I think. It seems like I have two selves. The one tells me “Eat as much as you want, as long as you are ok, because you suffer much and you have been deprived of food in the past because of diets”, and the other one tells me “You are an ugly fat woman-girl, and everyone who tells that is right about you, and you deserve racism, etc”. My therapist tried to help me, but that doesn’t seem to work for me, these two “voices” are very powerful inside me, because I find food as a shelter for my bad feelings and it’s my only enjoyment, and on the other hand it is my enemy because I hate my body the way it is, and even when I was about 14 lbps thinner I used to be pretty but I couldn’t see that back then because I was judged by someone I considered to be a friend as a fat person. So, my life sucks. Any help on how you see yourselves maybe?
Takes time but you can eliminate self consciousness, or at least get it under control. If you can understand why you say this then you’ll realize that is all it is.
You have a beautiful soul. That’s what really matters.
Thanks! But I also care about my looks. What do you mean by this:
?
Just quit thinking about yourself so much. I like reading this forum and chatting instead.
It’s hard. I even tell myself sometimes I want to be single forever but I still can’t get rid of self-consciousness. I still am very concerned about my image even when I don’t worry about sexual attraction and whatnot.
Sorry if I am becoming a little bit tiring, but can you be a bit more specific on this?
I just feel the same ttp! But why wanting to stay single forever? Do you think that will satisfy you in, let’s say, 20 years?
My thoughts change on it. Sometimes I think I’m better off alone and sometimes I really want a mate. Sometimes I think my illness prevents me from being in a stable relationship. That my emotions are too dull. RIght now I’m not thinking about being single forever, but in the past I have a lot.
Hmmmm… “You’re self criticism stems from you’re need to feel loved and valid and these issues you’ve identified are what you think is holding you back.”
You have the drive to succeed which feeds the desire to change.
You should just try and relax and enjoy life.
I only thought I should be single when I saw abusive men everywhere! But now I 've changed my mind! Many boys don’t want marriage but after some age they regret! Anyway, that’s not our subject here, we are talking about image and self-conciousness, hope we reduce it as much as we can, 'cos it destroys us!
Can anyone enjoy life without love?
Hang in there girl! I totally agreed with you… but
your weight or look has nothing to do with your capability to love and be loved.
That doesn’t define you!!! Just look all those famouse curve-shaped women…would they succeed in a world of fake beauty if they were’nt giving a damn ■■■■ about society standards?
Someone cares 
Dear @redrose
I’ve been re- reading this one and trying to come up with an idea that would be truly helpful.
Taking comfort in food or stress eating is a hard habit to break. I don’t battle my weight, but I’ve been watching others in my family try and get healthy with their weight.
I know it might be hard to keep in mind all the other great traits you have and the kindness and help you have given us on the forum. Keeping the people who do love you and know in mind… I think you are a very kind person.
The only thing I can offer seems so little…
Maybe look at the weight loss for your health. Just 5 pound down for a healthy heart?.. and then 5 more?
Don’t try and tackle weight loss from the appearance side… maybe look at your goal as staying healthy. Don’t do any drastic diets… but just cut back a few things here and there… and it’s hard… but not focus on the appearance or image… but focus on mussel strength and endurance.
You might need to maybe find a doc who can take you seriously with the weight loss or hopefully find a doc who can help you tackle the physical challenge of loosing weight.
My kid sis who I admire a lot… one of my dearest friends… has been through this battle to the point of nearly being hospitalized for being way way too underweight. The people who work with her for over eating… under eating… have been stressing the physical health and internal wellness more then image.
They keep telling her… image is for others… internal wellness if for yourself. Just worry about yourself.
I do hope you can get some ideas and help with what you want. I’m wishing the best for you. If I got too personal I’m sorry and hope I didn’t cause any upset.
Thanks! I don’t know, it has come over me, I also don’t like my image because of these standards, I 've been brainwashed. And then it’s the racism towards me, I often become a victim of others for many things, and I try to be perfect so that noone can say nothing bad about me. If I like myself noone can bother me. And I don’t like myself because I have the illness, so I must be perfect in other things to have a “balance”.
Remember, you will never be perfect enough for these male-oriented consumerism-obssesed society and its servants.
So the only thing you can do is to try to love yourself. I know it is ■■■■■■■ hard.
But it is a longterm process… we / women/are indoctrinated to constant punishment of our bodies…
■■■■ that
Mind my language and ■■■■■■■ grammar mistakes. 
have a 
wear a 
Put on a 
Dear SuprisedJ,
Too many information, I must read it again and again to sink in it. My doctor said me good things, it’s just that I didn’t explain him well the situation and so he couldn’t give me the right advice. I had told him that I liked a guy (the one that bullied me about my weight and thought to be my friend) and he said that I had too much weight, and the doctor told me I shouldn’t loose weight for his sake, but the truth is I wanted to loose weight for him to respect him more, and not to make up with him (as I wanted in the past). Anyway, it’s not only health that’s important, it’s also our image for the reasons I mentioned above to sarad. Unfortunately, this illness takes place in all (!!!) aspects of our lives. I hope everything gets well for you and everyone who answered me and tried to help me!! You are kind too.
How true!! This world was never a female-oriented society! At least we don’t live in the Middle East. But we suffer here much as well.
Check out a Tess Munster’s movement on the internet and social networks;: effyourbeautystandards
amasing chick !!!
Sorry, I was away for a while, by this you mean that we punish our body by eating or by not eating? 'Cos I 'm a little confused about this. Not by you, I 've been confused from the past…