i was with my mom this evening. i still talk a lot about my illness, its a symptom too. but i feel like a bad person, i guess this is paranoia. but i see a little progress because of my meds. the anguish is less, the suffering also… but its hard, my mom keeps saying that i dont go out, she is sad for me. she became a sad person because of me… yes, we are connected here in life with our relatives…
chronicals have less chances to recover. who is chronical schizophrenic here? ill continue making efforts though.
tomorrow i ll clean my living room. i have more energy now which is good ;).
3 Likes
I had sz for 13 years or more, and its been on and off, but my negative symptoms don’t really go away, so whether I am chronic or not I don’t know… I am doing well at moment (on right meds), but depression always comes back, and lack of motivation never leaves me. Its quite disabling. I have very little goal directed activity, its a rare day I will keep busy. I got sz just before I left High School so I never went to varsity or anything. I’ve never been independent (and I’m 32 now). Always lived with people or depended on them for my board and lodging. Never had a full time job, don’t yet have drivers licence, but hubby is encouraging me to get it. Very little motivation in life. Maybe just reading and coffee and flea markets that interest me, and a bit of religion on the side. I’m fortunate to have an understanding husband and parents. 
I definitely have a persecutory chronic paranoid schizophrenia. Throughout the illness my voices or part of my mind I guess has been out to get my conscious self pretending to be other people. It’s like part of my mind developed a mind of it’s own and attacked the part I still control. Meds have helped but the voices have never gone away for good.