According to my parents something happened, it wasn’t big, but it threw me into almost 2 days of solid incoherent melt down.
I was told there was screaming, hiding in the closet in terror, peeing myself, not eating, just freaking out and hiding. I was not able to calm down at all until I just passed out and slept solid for over a day. When I woke up, I was told that I couldn’t really understand what was being said to me, I was sort of teetering around like a drunk and I was slow to answer questions or react to stuff around me.
I was 5 years old when that happened. I pulled out of it and got back to being my sunny/ hyperactive self, but a few years later it happened again,… and again and so on…
Then my trip through the diagnosis maze began. I was having a lot of problems while growing up, but no doctor wanted to say the “S” word about one so young. So I was given many labels as I grew up.
But then puberty hit, there was a house fire, and it was all down hill from there. I was in a slow crumble until 17 when I was involuntarily committed after an incident that got the police involved. (I basically kidnapped my 6 year old kid sister from her little school because I was afraid they were brain washing her and turning her against me)
Then I started through the hospital/ group home maze. It took a while to get out of that one.
I’m stable and med compliant, I have a job, but I still have my voices, I still have hallucinations flare up, I still have my disorganized thinking. Stress does cause it to get worse.
Stress is an amazing thing, both motivator and destroyer.
@NiceHat I never hear you mention any negative symptoms. Those are the ones I am fighting off the hardest. My few tiny voices, the imaginary cat I see out of the corner of my eye all the time, the wavy walls and other visuals… these are nothing compared to the negative symptoms.
Sliding into negative symptom and turning back into the non-coherent, poverty of speech, poverty of thought, poverty of ability, word salad, empty, emotionless piece of furniture I once was, wishing I could die to get out of the negative swing… I fear that. It’s a very motivating all consuming fear.